Category Archives: Television

Do You Have A Zombie Apocalypse Team?

You guys watch “The Walking Dead,” right? I mean, everyone does. (And if you don’t, you should start now.)

I have a group of friends who are more than enthusiastic about this show. Dinner parties with them often involve strategic meetings on how we will handle the apocalypse when it happens, and don’t be surprised when I tell you that we do, in fact, have a very specific plan for when the dead start walking. Each of us has a job to do, and each of us bring a different dynamic to the group. Brian, as a nurse, is our health care expert. Frank is undoubtedly the “moral compass” of the group, and has also taken on the mantle of team historian. His wife, Linda, is in charge of sniffing out decent bottles of wine to go with our food, prepared by yours truly. Our other pal, Lynda, who originally started our Zombie Apocalypse Team, is cunning and smart–a natural born leader. Her husband, Jimmy, is our “Beth.”

Except our campfire songs will be decidedly more rock-n-roll, since Jimmy is a drummer. Probably lots of Foo Fighters, with some Led Zeppelin thrown in for good measure.

Anywho, you get the drift. Amongst our friends, our game plan is as follows: when the infrastructure fails, and zombies start chasing after us for our very tasty brains, the entire crew will be coming to our house first.

Not because it’s safest or centrally located. Not because it’s zombie proof. But because it’s closest to Google.

Now, I don’t know if other Google facilities are as apocalypse-aware as ours. I don’t know if it’s part of their game plan, or if it’s just a lucky break in design. But this place is impenetrable–high fence with barbed wire, security locked gate, surrounded by hills and trees for cover. In fact, I haven’t the foggiest what the actual facility looks like because they have successfully blocked it from public view. But the one thing that solidified our plan most recently was Google’s addition of its very own water tower.

I’ve had dreams about one of our own climbing carefully to the top, a bag of spray paint on their back, to notify other survivors that we have found a safe haven.

Sanctuary

Once we’ve set up camp at Google Headquarters–I’m imagining there will be some walkers we’ll have to dispatch, probably some fence we’ll have to repair and some cleaning up to do–we can settle in to a life of survival, but in the utmost comfort that an apocalypse survivor can expect. I mean, we’ve all heard how great of a place Google is to work for, so I’m expecting cushy offices from which we can appropriate furniture, access to a state-of-the-art gym, a huge cafeteria we can make use of for food storage and prep, and maybe even a pool, if we’re lucky. We’ll be far enough out of the city center to avoid most giant herds of walkers, but close enough to facilities like Walmart, grocery stores, and pharmacies for supplies.

We would be gracious hosts, but reign with an iron fist. There would be Google Jail for those who acted inappropriately (or for any who stole from our wine stores.) We would set up a kind little community with gardens (for flowers AND vegetables), activities (like mini-marathons and creativity contests, in honor of our host site), and a workable government (Lynda for President!).

It would be a sustainable colony, at least for awhile. All in all, I think it’s a pretty solid plan. And if you’re interested in joining, you’ll have to let us know. We have some questions for you.

For the original meme, which only makes this one funnier, click HERE.

For the original meme, which only makes this one funnier, click HERE.

 

This post is dedicated to my Dinner Club friends–those we affectionately know as The Apocalypse Team.

dinner club

 

Things I’m Loving Lately (Brought to You By The Letter “F”)

I was sitting here this morning, wracking my brain for a blog topic. And then it hit me.

When in doubt, write a list blog.

So, friends, I’m sharing with you a list of things that are making my life a little more exciting lately. And lo and behold, in a totally accidental way, every single thing on my list starts with the letter F. That doesn’t quite equal alliteration, but it’s really dang close. (High five, high school English teacher.) And so, without further ado…

Fthings I’m Floving Flately

Farscape

The hubs and I are really into this whole “binge-watching” television on Netflix. I mean, we were always sorta binge watchers, anyway, just not in an “All Day Sunday In Our Cookie Pants Fourteen Episodes” kind of way. Thank you, Netflix, for profoundly changing our weekends.

We’ve devoured tasty gems like “Breaking Bad,” “Chuck,” and “Sherlock,” all thanks to the wonders of steaming. And now, we’ve delved back into one of our favorites–the all-too-delightful Sci-Fi series, “Farscape.” It was one of those shows we bonded over back when binge watching meant having to rewind VHS tapes. Oh, those were the days. (PS: John Crichton, I still adore you.)

Fitbit

I got a FitBit for Brian’s birthday. (Technically, I think it was supposed to be my Valentine’s Day gift, but I bought it for myself back in January. I’m an overachiever like that.) It’s the Charge HR, and I’ve gotta tell ya, readers, I adore this little bit of technology. I’m not one of those folks that wears it all day, every day, and I certainly don’t sleep in it (although it can track your sleep and let you know how often you’re waking up.) But I DO wear it when I work out. It keeps track of my heart rate, tells me how many calories I’ve burned, and monitors how many steps I take. And when it spits out data like this:

werq

…it not only makes me squeal with delight over the “WERQ” I put in (see what I did there?) but it also makes me want to keep wearing it. Nothing says success like dancing off almost 600 calories in an hour.

Fitz

Are you guys getting sick of hearing about our kitten yet? No? Well that’s good. Because he’s a little fuzzball of energy and adorableness, and he puts a smile on my face every single day. He likes to take frequent breaks during meals to hop on your lap for a ‘thank you’ scratch, he enjoys playing with rolled up receipts more than anything else on the planet, he sleeps under the covers so he can keep an eye on the “blanket monster,” and he plays fetch.

Oh, and guys? He still “meeps.”

 

HOLY CRAPBALLS SO CUTE!!!!!!!

K stupid

I’ve been collecting stuff for awhile (mostly Doctor Who goodies) but this recent release from Funko made me go all squishy inside. (I also have some of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Funkos, but not the full set yet.)

Allow me to point out that Wash is holding—-*sob*—a tiny toy dinosaur. So. Much. Love.

(Also, bonus points for the flowers in the background–those were a Valentine’s Day gift from my Fabulous hubby. Cue chorus of “awwww” now.)

And finally….

To Protect And Serve

Ok, so this one is a bit of a stretch, because the only thing I watch on television on Friday nights is Blue Bloods. And Blue Bloods starts with a B not an F. But it’s my blog, so I can cheat if I want to. And I had to include it in this list for one reason and one reason only.

And no, it’s not (just) Donnie Wahlberg.

It’s because of Jamie Reagan and Edit (pronounced Eddie) Jenko.

Guys, I ship them so hard, I might as well be Fed Ex. It’s TOTES OBVI that they’re madly in love with each other. But here’s the thing–they’re partners, so they can’t express their feelings  because then they won’t be able to work together any more. Oh, the feels!

I’m tempted to start a letter-writing campaign to CBS titled “Why Jamie and Edit need to get together and start making little Reagan babies.” Wanna join me?

So that’s it, gang. Just a few little things that are keeping this gal happy right now. Is there an item in your life right now that’s making you grin from ear to ear? (Extra points if it starts with the letter “f.”)

Happy Anniversary, FRIENDS

For those of you not in the know, we just celebrated the tenth anniversary of the final episode of the best show ever, Friends.

Friends cast

Click for Source

Crap. Now I want a milkshake.

Anywho, I am a HUGE fan of this show. So much so that I still use quotes from the dialogue on a regular basis. (Could I BE any cooler?)  So when my newsfeed started lighting up with Friends articles right around the anniversary date, I clicked on and read them ALL. My favorite? A blog by a writer named Tsh, called “The One Where I Love Friends.” It’s hilarious. And I loved it so much I went in search of Friends gifs that I could relate to my own life. Here’s what I came up with.

Me when I get question right on Final Jeopardy:

a woo-hoo!

Me when I’m on a diet:

MINE!

Me when the cats start yowling for food at 5 o’clock in the morning:

shut uuuuup

Me when Brian does the laundry without being asked:

how you doin?

Me when that thing happened on The Game of Thrones and I totally wasn’t expecting it:

huh? What?Me when I’m reading people’s Facebook status updates:

GRAMMAR please.

Me with every single baby I encounter:

a boo boo boo

Me with my iPhone when Brian catches me Twitter stalking Zachary Levi:

not guilty

Me in line at the grocery store when a cool jam starts playing:

groovin

Me at my Werq class:

boogaloo

Me with a particularly irritating customer:

grr

Me when I read that Donnie Wahlberg is engaged to She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named:

Whyyyyyyyyyyy?

Me reading Dune:

bo-ring

Me when I’m right and you’re wrong:

dancin'

Me constantly doing jazz hands for no apparent reason:

jazz hands

And finally….me every single time I watch the Friends series finale:

sob

Ok, that was so much fun. Thank you, internet, for having so many wonderful gifs to choose from. Now…I’m gonna go watch Friends all day.

It’s Not My Fault…

…that I haven’t written a blog since the uber-depressing one that I wrote a few days ago from the corner of Despair Drive and Sad Face Alley. (You think that’d be a perfect intersection for a cupcake shop, but I couldn’t find one.)

Seriously. You can’t be mad at me. Here are three legitimate reasons why blogging simply cannot be accomplished today.

 

 

If you can’t see the video, copy and paste the following URL into your browser: http://youtu.be/RIl1bN_ptYk

Things I’m Loving Lately

After this weekend’s somber post, I decided to do something much happier to kick off the week. (I know you’re relieved. Truthfully, I used up half a box of tissues just writing Saturday’s post. I’m ready to move on to the happy stuff, too.) So, I’m turning to the blogging tool that has been so successful for me in the past. I’m sharing with you a list of the things that are making me smile lately. (If I use it as a tool to turn my frownies upside down, well, that’s just an added bonus. Right?)

Things I’m Loving Lately:
 
1. This house in Kansas:
 

As it turns out, it was purchased by activist Aaron Jackson, who bought this house just to send a message to their neighbors: the Westboro Baptist Church. A peaceful, and colorful, protest to all the hate speech—I’d say this is a must-visit location to any and all living and vacationing in Kansas. It makes me so happy, I’m not above declaring that if we buy a house with siding, it might just get the same treatment. (Somewhere in a hospital room far, far away, my husband the nurse just collapsed when he read that statement.) Visit CNN to read the entire story.
 
2. Smash.
I know, I know—I’ve gushed all about this show here on AbbyGabs before. But the new season started a couple of weeks ago, and I’ve got to tell you—-I’m just as addicted in season 2 as I was in season 1. I know I’m not supposed to like Ivy, but I absolutely adore Megan Hilty, and I’m excited for what’s coming up for her character in the episodes to come! For your viewing pleasure, here she is again. LOVE.
 
 

Sigh. My Broadway tendencies get tickled every time she performs. I really want to be her when I grow up.

3. Lego City: Undercover (for the Wii U)


This game has everything we love: Lego-themed puzzles, fun game play, and silly narration. We simply can’t stop playing. The only thing it doesn’t have is multi-player…but it’s only making us look forward to future Lego games on this new console that much more. My favorite mantra while playing Lego games? BREAK STUFF!!!!


4. Searching the internet for nerdy t-shirts to wear to Comic-Con in July.
Believe me when I say there are a treasure trove of them out there. I’ve got an entire Pinterest Board dedicated to the subject. Here are a few of my favorites, for your viewing pleasure.

Nyan Cat Meets Doctor Who
Star Trek Awesomeness

The Entire Buffy Gang–The Peanuts Version

 

 


5. Remix (I Like The)
Don’t throw stuff at me. I know I told you all about how much I love this new video by NKOTB in my last video blog. But someone happened to point out to me that I failed to leave a link to the video on that post, and so I’m sharing it with you here. (Remember–part of this blog is so I have something to look at to make me smile. And this video makes me smile. So there.)


It’s not just the hotness of the band in suits, or the fact that the lead in the video is a big girl like me, or the ADORABLENESS that is the dance sequence with Donnie Wahlberg near the end. It’s the WHOLE SONG, and the knowledge that I’ll get to see them perform it live in T-minus 2 1/2 months, that gets me all giddy and grinny. I can’t wait for the album release in April. Yay!!!

Ok that’s it. My list of happy things. I’ve got a few more, but I’m too busy rocking out to Remix and pretending I can sing like Megan Hilty to write any more. 

Meet Captain McSneezyPants

I believe that everyone has their own special brand of super-hero-ness. You might not know it, but there’s something about you that could be construed as a super power. Maybe your smile can light up a room, or maybe your soprano high notes shatter glass. Either way, it makes you special. Unique.

I mean, Mary Tyler Moore can turn the world on with her smile.



Donnie Wahlberg can turn the world on with his abs.



And not to toot my own horn or anything, but I can turn the world on with my homemade cupcakes.



My husband’s super power, however, isn’t always one that puts a big grin on Earth’s face. In fact, if he’s not careful, Brian’s super power can part hair, break windows, and startle someone into a panic attack.

My husband’s super power is his sneeze. Let’s call them his Super Sonic Sneezes.


When we first started living together, a sneeze from Brian was enough to leave me huddled in the corner, arms over my head, preparing for the ceiling to fall. Seriously. They are that loud. It got so bad that I finally asked him to try and devise a way to warn me when he feels one coming on.

It took a few years, and a few trial runs. Flare guns don’t work inside. Tapping his leg didn’t help much either, since my clogging background brainwashed me to recognize that sign as the beginning of a hoe-down.

After years of practice and polish, Brian finally has a signal down. It works in almost every situation (although we find it can be slightly dangerous when he is driving.) But regardless, it gives me a chance to batten down the hatches, prepare myself for the thunderous sound that will issue from between his lips, and grab a hold of any expensive vases.

You can imagine our surprise (and dismay) when we discovered that another person on this planet uses Captain McSneezyPants’ Super Secret Sneeze Signal. And not only is he using it as a source of adorableness, but also to sell people on a service plan with AT&T.

Uh-Oh. Your Super Secret Sneeze Signal has been compromised. Back to the drawing board, Captain.

Note: I’m not selling anything for Disney, nor am I making any money for posting an AT&T commercial. Both videos just help me illustrate my point a little better. And the kid in that phone commercial cracks me up.

The Day The TARDIS Came–A Story In Pictures

For the purposes of this tale, this is Abby:

 

And once upon a time, Abby was having a no-good, very-rotten, all-around-craptastic day. Nothing—not coffee, not chocolate, not even wine—made the day seem any better. Just when Abby thought the day was a total waste, she heard a strange sound rumbling in the distance…



“Whatever could it be?” she thought to herself.  As the sound grew nearer and nearer, it became more familiar to her, until suddenly, a strange blue phone box appeared right in the middle of her living room. Excitement coursed through her body as she realized who had come to rescue her from her no-good, very-rotten, all-around-craptastic day.


It was the Doctor!! And he’d brought along his companions, Amy and Rory!


“Hello there, Abby!,” the Doctor greeted her warmly. “Seems like you’re in a bit of cheering up. Perhaps you’d like a spot of tea?”

Abby, stunned into silence, shook her head no. She wasn’t a stranger to the wonders of the time travel. In fact, she happened to be the World’s Biggest Fan of the Doctor and his crew of misfits. And for the first time in her life, she finally had the opportunity to tell him just that. But…words seemed to fail her. So…

…Abby dashed to her closet…

…and re-emerged in an outfit that she hoped would express her total adoration for all things Whovian.


The reverie of complete and utter bonding was shattered when Amy cleared her throat…
 
 

And the Doctor announced the reason for his visit.
 
“My very own adventure?” Abby shouted. “REALLY?” Her mind whirled with possibilities…
 
 
“Doctor,” Abby asked, in a terrible fake British accent. “Will we encounter many bad guys along the way?”
 
“Welllllll…” the Doctor said. “The universe IS filled with plenty of dangers and excitement! We’ll just have to wait and see about that. But first thing’s first. We have to choose a destination! So, Abby, author of Abby Gabs, believer in the stars….where would you like to go first?” The Doctor waggled his eyebrows at Abby suggestively. “Perhaps you’d like to visit Calufrax Minor? They have amazing gold mines there.”

Abby shook her head.

 
“Alright then,” the Doctor continued, undeterred. “Perhaps you’d like to walk on the face of Pluto? So you can properly mourn its deletion from the solar system as you know it?”
 
“That’s nice, Doctor, but no. I don’t think that’s where I want to go.” Abby replied.
 
“Very well then. I’ve got it!” The Doctor whipped around in a circle, then shot a toothy grin Abby’s way. “You’ll want to be visitin’ New New New New New New New York!!! Every girl wants the shopping in New New New New New New New York!”
 
“Oh, I’m sure that’s very posh, Doctor,” Abby said. “But truthfully, there’s only one place I really want to go today.”

“Very well then,” the Doctor said. “Out with it!”

 
Abby leaned over and whispered in the Doctor’s ear. He grinned devilishly, then called out, “Alright, lads and lasses! Abby has chosen her destination! Let’s be off then!”
 
Abby, Rory, Amy and the Doctor loaded into the TARDIS and off they went, spinning into space and time.
 
                                     …a few hours later…
 

The End

I Don’t Wanna

I mentioned in my last post that the internet has felt like a harsh place to be lately. I wish I could say I could simply turn my back on the world wide web and retreat into the peacefulness of my own life, but alas, that is not the case. Because you see, life has been somewhat harsh lately, too.

I’ve dealt with a barrage of hatefulness from my job in the last couple of weeks…from face-to-face interactions where people have hurled such insults that I feared I needed to duck:



To the kind of telephone conversations that make me want to plug my ears:


After eight hours of this sort of behavior, I wind up feeling exhausted, underpaid, under-appreciated, and feeling like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. Or, more appropriately, the weight of the everybody else’s problems on my shoulders.




Emotionally battered and bruised, I tend to shy away from life. I wake up in the mornings in an “I don’t wanna” mood. “I don’t wanna work. I don’t wanna answer the phone. I don’t wanna send late notices. I don’t wanna call her back. I just don’t wanna.”

The don’t wanna’s tend to bleed into my personal life, as well. “I don’t wanna do laundry. I don’t wanna cook dinner. I don’t wanna go anywhere today. I don’t wanna write a blog. I don’t wanna check my email. I just don’t wanna.”

The only thing I’ve wanted to do lately is close my eyes and pretend I’m somewhere else.

 
 
 
…to be continued…
 
Doctor Who images courtesy of bigpicturesphoto.com. Angry birds images courtesy of webdesignhot.com.

Laziness 101

For the past two weeks, there have been three things, and three things alone, that I’ve been interested in doing.

#1: Drinking Coffee. The stronger, the hotter, the more frequent, the better.

#2: Pinning All the Stuff. Particularly recipes for stuff I’ll probably never make, DIY projects that I’ll probably never attempt, and home decor stuff for a house we don’t have yet.

 



#3: Watching Reruns of 30 Rock. Because Kenneth the page makes me laugh out loud. And Tina Fey is my s-hero. 



(My love affair started with Kenneth when it was revealed that he is a clogger.)



It’s true that all of these activities, when enjoyed separately, are all worthy endeavors of one’s time. However, when you combine all three of them simultaneously, with the inclusion of pajamas, cookies baked from a Pinterest recipe (one of the few I tried), and a new-found Pepsi addiction, it’s not a pretty thing. The only impression I’m making on my own life lately is the permanent one of my butt on the couch cushion.


I’m not sure what brought on the funk. Brian going back to school, recent personal health problems (i.e. a return of the dreaded kidney stone), the end of the summer Olympics….many different things could contribute to this new laziness I’ve been experiencing.

So this morning, I made the bed. I did some laundry. I vacuumed and straightened and dusted. I scrubbed my kitchen counter tops and soaked some stinky kitchen towels in hot water and baking soda (another tip from Pinterest.) I emptied my inbox and replied to some emails. I read some blogs and left some comments. I sharpened some pencils and painted my toenails. And finally, I wrote this blog.

I’m officially exhausted and will be rewarding myself with a hot cup of coffee and Season 5 of 30 Rock on Netflix.

What? I’m working on it.

Sometimes, I Pretend Like I’m Tina Fey…

…not just because she’s funny, and pretty, and really, really, really rich. But because she has, at her very rich fingertips, and entire entourage of people ready to make her funny ideas become reality. Producers, and camera men, and sound guys, and make-up artists….if Tina has a dream to shoot a silly montage for her show, she just snaps her fingers, and POOF…there it is.

Like today, for instance. I was sitting around in my pajamas, moping into my cereal bowl, missing my husband (who started back to school today.) And I found myself thinking about how I could reach out to him and make him laugh, to help relieve the first-day-of-school jitters. As I often do, I found myself thinking about a certain episode of “Friends,” where Joey moves out and he and Chandler miss each other. And I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be totally awesome to film something like that? With myself sitting in front of a window, peering out as the sad, cold rain pours down over the city?”

If I were Tina Fey, I could have done just that, with brilliant writing, perfect lighting, and an honest-to-goodness window with rain water sluicing down the pane.

Instead, there’s just me, my computer monitor, and a JVC camcorder.

So he got this instead:


True, the production value is in the crapper. But I think my point was pretty clear. I’m so sad and lonely…

After publishing the rain video to youtube, I began to wonder if it would make Brian laugh. Maybe it wouldn’t. Maybe it would make him feel guilty instead. So I began to think about previous posts I’ve done for him….turning him into superheros and telling stories about how he changed an old couple’s tire.

And there was that nagging voice in the back of my head again. “If only you were Tina Fey…”

If I was Tina Fey, I would have created a meaningful montage, with video of our perfectly-staged first kiss, a clip of beautiful us holding hands and splashing in the surf, and other meaningful stuff. It would have been timed with the perfect music, and it would have been award worthy.

But I’m not Tina Fey. I’m Abby. So I created this extremely-silly-but-still-heartfelt montage instead:




In conclusion, I really wish I had Tina Fey’s job, life, and money. But I don’t want her husband. Because I have the perfect husband already.

Hope your first day back was a huge success! Love you honey!