So I was messing around on my blog’s Facebook page yesterday, and I decided that, if I was ever going to maintain my internet celebritystatus, I needed to get everybody on my friends’ list on board. So I sent out a huge wave of invites, hoping to pick up a few stragglers along the way.
I got twenty new page likes in a little less than two hours.
So I posted the following on my feed, hoping to inspire more folks to like and share the page:
And it worked. I’m in awe of social media. I was up to 155 likes this morning–bringing my total of new likes to a whopping 34!!
I always keep my word, and so, as promised—for fans new and old alike, I give to you, an AbbyGabs jig.
Now that I’ve fully admitted to my shiny new love affair with Zachary Levi, I feel comfortable enough to tell you about my social media interactions with him. A few days ago, I checked my Twitter feed and found this:
Shekinah is his sister. NOT his girlfriend. I googled it.
OK, I realize that he just finished up a Broadway show and that he’s currently between gigs right now, so a vacation with friends and family to somewhere remote and quiet is probably just the time off he needs.
But ANTARCTICA, Zachypoo? Really???
Since the post, I’ve been having all sorts of nightmares that jolt me awake at night shivering from the imagined cold and ice and wind and snow. They often involve my love fighting off/being eaten/running away from one of the many forms of wildlife that roam the frozen tundra of the Arctic.
It terrifies me down to my very toes. Couldn’t he have chosen a warmer locale? A place where the only “death” he would have to worry about is Tiki Death Punch? Wouldn’t it be so much more relaxing to have your toes in the sand rather than in danger of frostbite? Am I the only one who doesn’t understand this vacation spot choice??
I mean, I’m sure the Antarcticans are thrilled to have him. Who wouldn’t be? He was a sexy-nerd-turned-international-super-spy on TV’s CHUCK for 5 years. I’m sure they’ve rolled out the red carpet for Zac and his friends.
Were I a penguin, I’d be standing there in all my fuzzy glory wearing my Nerd Herd t-shirt and waving around a “KISS ME ZAC” sign with the rest of them. But alas, I am a southern girl, and cold to me means 40 degrees with relative humidity. Forty below? Sorry, Zac. I’m out.
Perhaps I should launch a Twitter campaign to convince him to come back home. I’d be glad to meet him in Southern California, and I’m pretty sure I could make his Antarctica dreams come true. We could just go into his apartment/house/condo/mansion, close the blinds, turn the AC down as low as it could go, and share a pot of homemade hot chocolate in our very special mugs.
And if he was still bored and wanted something more exhilarating to connect him to Mother Nature, I’d just pop “Free Willy” or “Sharknado” into the DVD player and we’d be all set. Sounds like the PERFECT week off to me.
He probably wouldn’t go for it. But I still think it’s important to warn Zac, his posse, and the Antarctic officials that it’s imperative that they don’t let Zachary Levi walk around smiling the whole time he’s in Antarctica. With that 1000-watt smile? It would finish off the already-melting ice caps, and we’d all be in some serious danger.
So, a note to recap…
Dear Zac, If you see a polar bear, please stay far enough away from it that it doesn’t sniff you out and try to chase you down. I’m not the only one who thinks you’re a tasty morsel. Secondly, the penguins may be your biggest fans, but they smell bad and will just run away if you try to hug them. I, however, do NOT smell and will NOT run away from a hug. Also, my offer still stands. I’ve gotten my AC down to at least 60 before–and I make a mean pot of hot chocolate. I can also spray you in the face with ice water, if you’re going for realism. And finally—watch that smile, pal. Global warming is a real thing–be kind to the environment and keep those pearly whites under lock and key. Love, Your Shiny New Pretend Stalker Girlfriend
As if there wasn’t already Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Flickr, YouTube, Reddit, Google Plus, IMDB, and AbbyGabs (of course), now there’s a newfangled website that could potentially take up all of what’s left of my free time. (Which, to be honest, I didn’t think there was much of…until I found this new Facebook app. Then I learned I had at least forty-five minutes of free time. Who knew?)
Actually, it combines three of my favorite things: cartoons, bad puns, and humiliating my friends.
Here’s how it works: you create your own avatar using the tools provided. Now I have to say, in apps past, these tools haven’t been so swell. But with Bitstrips, you can be very selective from everything to your hairstyle to your pupil size! I have to admit…I was pretty impressed with my avatar:
She even looks a little sarcastic. I like it.
Once you’ve created your very own cartooned self, you’re off to the races. A simple click of the “done” button, and the app puts you into several hilarious scenarios that you can share to your favorite social media sites.
HA. Spoiler alert. Get it? *Snort* Not only does Bitstrips really understand just how large a plus-size girl’s forearms can be, it also really understands my sense of humor.
As if that isn’t enough fun already, now you can create comics starring you and your friends! Some of them may have already created their own avatars (this app is sweeping across Facebook like wildfire.) But if they don’t–never fear! You can create their cartoons for them! This can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how you depict them. (If you’re looking to stay in their good graces, I’d avoid the double chin and stripper costume.)
Once you’ve whipped up an avatar for your best pal, the time has come to allow Bitstrips to do their thang…one click and VOILA! Comic strip gold!
Now, let me point out that I did not choose the background for this comic strip. Bitstrips did that for me. I did, however, have the option to go in and add dialogue or change the caption, which is how I came up with this Doctor Who-inspired cartoon of Jenna and me. Brilliant.
Sometimes, however, the editing process simply isn’t needed, because Bitstrips comes up with the perfect scenario for the perfect cartoon. For instance, take this one of Brian and me:
Is there anything funnier than fart humor? No, not really. Even classy people laugh at fart jokes.
The best part of this app, though, is that every single day it creates new comics for you to enjoy. I can’t wait to see what hilarity tomorrow brings!
Bitstrips didn’t hire me to write this blog, and I’m not being paid for it. I should be, because it’s awesome, but this is just an opinion piece about an app I found to be fun. You should try it out! And if you’re the president of Bitstrips and you’d like to offer me a coffer full of gold, I’d be happy to accept.
My name is Abby, and I’m the author and CEO of AbbyGabs (dot) com. I am preparing this statement today in order to share with you my feelings regarding the newly publicized relationship between my pretend celebrity boyfriend, Mr. Donald Edmond Wahlberg, Jr., and one Jennifer “Jenny” Ann McCarthy.
Photo credit goes to Rex Features photographer, Sara. Embellishment credit goes to me, because it’s my blog and I’ll draw on celebrities if I want to.
On September 9, 2013, the couple officially announced their relationship on the popular daytime program, “The View.” I witnessed them hugging, kissing, and touching (all while seated relatively close to Barbara Walters. For shame.) He also reportedly filled Ms. McCarthy’s dressing room with balloons and flowers, and has been seen on countless other daytime shows discussing his new state of happiness in the land of lust love.
(I will say that I was impressed that Ms. McCarthy included “the Blockheads” in her adoration of Donnie’s butt. However, unless she can provide photographic evidence of herself in braces sporting an original New Kids on the Block t-shirt from 1991, I will continue to call her status as “Blockhead” into question.)
The pair revealed in this interview that they’d started seeing each other seriously “sometime around the fourth of July.” Let the record reflect that that was mere weeks after my own rendezvous with Donnie in Charlotte.
I would like to be clear on two points: 1) I wish nothing but happiness for Mr. Wahlberg and will always have a soft spot for him in my heart. And 2) I have nothing against Ms. McCarthy (with the exception of her misleading anti-vaccination campaign and her crude Candies ad from the 90s). May happiness rain down upon them both.
I am not bitter. In fact, I’m happy for Donnie. I will always love him and support him and scream for him when he takes off his shirt on his hit television drama, Blue Bloods. But hearts have a way of mending themselves, especially when the fun of searching for a new celebrity boyfriend begins. And so now, I’d like to make a formal announcement.
There is new fake love in my life.
Some of you may have wondered what was going on between me and Nathan back when I first started posting about ComicCon (particularly when my countdown featured him in a ‘front and center’ manner.) The truth is, we’d already started communicating through Twitter, and we actually met up at this year’s Nerd HQ. One thing led to another, and well…I was always meant to be with a Captain, really.
And so, in conclusion, I’d like to thank all of you who supported my stalking relationship with Donnie Wahlberg. We will always be close–in fact, I Tweeted him just this morning. But I hope you can all be happy for Nathan and me, as our relatively new pretend relationship grows. You’ll be interested to know that we enjoy cosplaying together. We love Saturday-long Star Trek marathons. And he’s even teaching me a little Chinese. How cool is that?
If this is your first time visiting AbbyGabs in a few days, you’ll notice a brand new design. Thanks to pal and fellow blogger, Carrie Baughcum of Heck Awesome, for her support, inspiration, and creativity throughout this process!
And to those who worry I’ve lost my bonkers because I’m leaving Donnie Wahlberg, here’s a little secret between you and me: I still intend to stalk him on Twitter. Maybe just not as religiously as I’ll be stalking Nathan for awhile, as my heart heals.
My life is sort of chaotic right now. And not in a good way. It sort of feels like Paul Bunyan picked up my life, shook it around, and left it all topsy-turvy.
That wasn’t very nice of you, Mr. Bunyan. Seriously. Don’t you have trees to plant?
Oh, wait…that’s Johnny Appleseed. My bad.
Anywhoo, without going into great detail, let me reassure you that I am fine, Brian is fine, and our families and friends are all fine. We are just under a great deal of stress (work-related, mostly) and we are busy trying to pick up the pieces from Paul’s rampage.
Not only did this book teach me valuable stuff, and helped me to create a clearer path toward publishing my own book of badassery, it kept me in stitches for all twelve chapters. It was awesome. All my writer friends should check it out.
But this post isn’t about Sonja’s book. Nay, this post is about me finding my smile again by visiting her blog. When I clicked over this morning, I was already smiling when I realized she’d posted a video blog. (She is my vlog s-hero. They never, ever, everdisappoint.) Then I watched it and realized she was hosting a contest.
I would have entered if she’d offered me a stale cookie that she found under her couch, because 1) I love cookies and 2) I love entering contests. But when I found out that, through SlimFast Sweepstakes, she was offering a ONE THOUSAND DOLLAR GIFT CARD from SpaFinder.com, I was like, WHAAAAA???
It’s like she knew that we’d been struck by the evil brute Bunyan, and that I needed a reason to keep from drinking a chocolate bourbon milkshake while at work today.
So I entered in all the ways possible (including this here blog post.) You should enter, too! (Except you shouldn’t, because I really want to win. But if you do, I won’t hold it against you. So long as you take me with you on your spa excursion.)
So thanks, Sonja–for the daily chuckles, for my new Book Publishing Bible, for giving me something to aspire to with my own video blogs, and for giving me the opportunity to win a prize that will allow me to soak my tired feet in cucumber-scented water. I love you. *SOB*
Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, Flickr, Instagram, Vine, Pinterest, You Tube….if there’s a way for me to connect with people on the internet, I’m going to try to do it. I may suck at it, but I’m going to try. (Hence the myriad of clickable buttons to the right that will lead you straight to me on each platform…)
And trying is important, because at least it makes me somewhat visible. Right?
But the truth of the matter is that I don’t really use my social media skills to self-promote quite as much as I should. And it’s something I need to work on, I think, if I ever plan to really succeed at this whole “professional blogger” thing. Because after all, if I don’t give my readers multiple opportunities to see me, hear me, and read my stuff, then I’m not really doing my blog much justice.
Here’s what I mean.
How I’ve Been Using My Facebook Fan Page: This would have been a terrific idea, if I’d planned on turning it into a future blog post. But I didn’t. And I won’t. I was just curious and I wanted to gush about Megan Hilty for a second or two.
How I SHOULD Be Using My Facebook Fan Page: It should be a no-brainer, right? When I post a blog, I should post it to Facebook. Which I do—usually, without fail or hesitation. But once I post it the one time…that’s it. The end. I never go back and resubmit the link, or beg for people to go see my work. I always worry that if I post links too often, people will get annoyed. So I post it once, sit back, and hold my breath, hoping they’ll click anyway.
How I’ve Been Using My Twitter Feed:My followers know all too well that I spend most of my time on Twitter stalking Donnie Wahlberg (and other members of NKOTB), annoying my blogger friends for Word Press advice, and re-Tweeting stuff I find to be funny/knowledgeable/important that other people posted. Rarely, if ever, do I post humorous content of my own devising, or do the other thing that Twitter feeds are for…I.E….
How I SHOULD Be Using My Twitter Feed: …promoting my blog. (Which I managed to do in this particular example while simultaneously stalking Donnie Wahlberg. Because I’m a Twitter wizard, that’s why.)
So now I’m following the social media path to new avenues…
Google Plus finally sucked me in, and now I’m busy setting up a profile, trying to find people to follow, and joining new communities for writers like the little joiner that I am. I’m planning on using it as a self-promotional tool only (although I said that about Twitter when I joined, too…and that was a rabbit hole I never expected.)
The one facet of social media I really want to focus attention on right now, though, is You Tube. I’ve managed to build up quite a large channel over there, just from posting my video blogs so I could share them here with you. And now, You Tube wants me to spiff up the joint–adding a new (HUGE?!) banner, inviting friends to subscribe so they never miss a video…they even wanted me to create a trailer to introduce people to what my channel was all about.
Which lead to THISTweet: Followed by the creation of THISvideo:
Short, sweet, and to the point, yes?
So, as part of this new Word Press adventure, I’m going to work on my social media skills. Just don’t judge me if it doesn’t happen on Twitter right away. (I can’t help it. I need my daily ‘Berg fix.)
Won’t you join me on my You Tube channel? Click THIS LINK to visit, click the little subscribe button, and make me dance a jig in my seat! 🙂
And believe it or not, I got quite a responses in favor of an Abby Gabs t-shirt. In fact, many of you requested one to add to your own wardrobes. I have to admit, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about opening a little swag shop associated with my blog. I’ve actually thought about it quite a bit, mainly because a few of my favorite blogs (Late Enough, Crappy Pictures, Hyperbole and a Half, The Oatmeal) all have shops of their own. Not to mention my father-in-law, Walt, author of The Lucky Puppy, who launched his shop years before I ever heard the word “blog.” After about an hour of scouring my blog, looking for items that might make cute t-shirts, I find that I have a few. All they require are a little editing, some funny catchphrases, and a vessel on which to print them up. For instance… How cute would this be on a coffee mug?:
And I had already thought of this one for my nerdy Comic Con t-shirt…(Saying something like L8 Nerd.)
I have a few that I could take ideas from, too…like Super Abby:
Or the classic “I Survived the Red Roof Inn:”
Of course, there would be Abby Gabs swag, too—bumper stickers derived from my banner, t-shirts with just the blog logo on it, etc. The question is: are you guys really interested in this idea? Would you be willing to buy a $5 bumper sticker with my face on it? Would you really wear a t-shirt with a badly-drawn, caffeinated dinosaur on the front? So let’s put it to a vote. If you’d love to see an Abby Gabs swag shop, vote below. And if there’s an illustration you adore that you’d pay to see on merchandise, and I didn’t mention it above, let me know which one you’re interested in!
I’m curious to hear your thoughts, readers. I will say, I’m probably going to create the nerd shirt for myself, but opening up a shop would be a totally different endeavor! I think it would be fun, and I’m hoping you will, too. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
A few months ago, I reached out to my friends, family, and readers, and asked them to submit questions for a video blog. They did, and it turned out to be one of my favorite vlogs I’ve ever done.
However, there was one friend and reader who went above and beyond the call of duty. The questions she sent me were so fantastic, so funny, and SO PERFECT for Abby Gabs, that I just had to revisit our interview, and post them for you here. Prepare to laugh, because my pal Rachel is one funny gal.
Rachel: It’s said that you turned down the role of Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With The Wind because Clark Gable was unwilling to leave you in the final, crucial scene. On her deathbed, Vivian Leigh cursed you for upstaging her at the premiere where this tidbit came out. Tell us… Did she really give birth to a litter of puppies at that event? And what happened to those said puppies?
Abby: I cannot confirm or deny the rumor of puppies, as I was too busy flirting with Gable and wowing the cameras with my authentic 1930s hairdo. Also, I was giggling in the corner with the Doctor, because how else could I have gone back in time to upstage Leigh, without the transportation of the TARDIS?
R: You’ve been offered the role of love interest in the new Transformers movie. Michael Bay has offered to Photoshop Megan Fox out of the previous movies. Your own love interest, Brian, is a huge Transformers fan. Will these men influence your decision to accept the role?
A: I had originally turned down the role until Mark Wahlberg, Donnie’s brother, contacted me and begged me to do it. I don’t normally accept roles under those conditions, but as I’m a close, personal friend of the Wahlbergs, I decided to join the cast so I can work with Mark again.
However, I really don’t care what Bay decides to do about Megan Fox. She dug her grave, and now she has to lie in it with cast-off copies of her, *ahem*, “movie,” Jennifer’s Body.
R: We’ve all seen the made-for-TV movie, That Gabby Abby. It’s a required course in 47 of the 48 continuous states’ 5th grade education. How does it make you feel that North Dakota refuses to make it a required course as well?
A: I applaud any and all states’ rights to create their own laws, so long as it does not interfere with my bank account. Therefore, I will be staging a peaceful protest on the North Dakota/South Dakota border in the upcoming months. There will be cupcakes, people waving signs around, and a New Kids on the Block cover band. I’m working on getting a cameo appearance by Donnie Wahlberg himself, but he still hasn’t confirmed the dates with me as of yet. By the time I’m through, North Dakota will adore me, and my film will be forced down the throats of adolescents in the snowy north as well.
R: You’re running for President this year. What is your stance on jeggings and should they be illegal?
A: Here is my public service announcement about that very subject.
R: You come from humble beginnings, and yet you decided to turn down Brangelina’s offer to give you their mansion in California. Your landlord went on national television to offer to take down the wood paneling in your country flat, but you refused citing his love for ’70s wood paneling and your respect for it. This has sparked a trendy design craze for the wood paneling and designers praise you for your bold statement. There are rumors that you’ll be using orange shag carpeting in your home next… Are they true?
A: I was high at that television interview with my landlord. Wood paneling sucks. It should be ripped from every wall in America and burned in a giant bonfire. We’ll call it an effigy to bad taste and horrible design.
I don’t mind shag carpet, though.
R: When you bought the new iPhone 5, Siri began speaking exclusively to you, neglecting all other iPhone 5 users and forcing Apple to attempt to correct the glitch. Siri responded by detaching herself from the Apple mainframe and becoming the first recorded sentient computer program. She now claims the title of Abby’s BFF and there have been several attempts on the lives of other people who attempt to claim the title as well. Do you feel responsible for her actions?
A: Siri can be difficult to read. She tends to have a split personality, especially when asked questions regarding the space/time continuum, when giving directions to Mars, and when fielding that difficult question of which came first, the chicken or the egg. I cannot comment on the attempted murder claim, as my lawyer advises me against it. What I will say is that Siri is great. She is so great. She is, like, the best friend, ever…I swear…
R: A new phenomenon has been sweeping the world. Leading scientists cannot explain why spiders are giving birth to and randomly turning into fluffy bunnies. Some speculate that it is a direct reaction to the revelation in the Broadway musical hit, That Gabby Abby starting Merryl Streep, that you are frightened of spiders. What are your thoughts?
A: To Drs. Hoffstetter and Cooper, who are leading this research, I send you a huge thanks. Spiders give me the willies. And bunnies are adorable!
R: The New Kids On The Block have recently announced a brand new tour. Donnie Whalberg has gone public with his love for you and has even named the tour, “Abby Will You Marry Me?” He regularly Photoshops himself into pictures with you and has blogged about his obsession many times. You have made it very clear that you love and are faithful to your cabana boy, Brian, going so far as to marry him. What advice would you give others with this level of unrequited love?
A: Ah, unrequited love. It’s a sneaky, painful, careless mistress. Here are my tips to those who suffer this terrible fate.
1: Be kind. Regardless of your feelings, there are others in the world who would give anything for a kind word from you.
2: Be cautious over the words that you choose, but don’t be afraid to share a little piece of yourself with your fans, just to make their own lives a little more meaningful.
3: Try to refrain from posting too many racy photographs of yourself on Twitter. Sure, it’s fun to get the fans all whipped up into a frenzy, but it’s taxing on their hearts. Give sparingly, but give.
Thanks, Rachel, for sending me the most creative questions, ever. I hope you are suitably impressed. 🙂
Ok, well, it’s not MY birthday, per se. But Abby Gabs turned two years old yesterday! Hooray!
As with all things, this little blog has changed quite a bit in the last year. I wrote a few more posts on more serious topics this year: like weight loss, my desperate desire to become a published author, and our heart-breaking struggle with infertility. I introduced you to my godchildren, who are the cutest godchildren on the face of the entire planet (and also on Mars.) I cut my teeth on illustrations, and used my own cartoons to welcome you into my silly, slightly warped, sense of reality. And I even answered some of your most burning questions, in one of my favorite Abby Gabs video blogs, ever.
Last year, I compiled a list of MY favorite Gabs to celebrate my one year anniversary in the blogosphere. But this year, I’ve decided to share YOUR favorite ten blogs from 2012. Enjoy.
This little tale is about a shopping trip I took recently with a teenage family member. It introduced a number of my readers to the popular slang word “totes,” as well as gave you a glimpse into what I might look like at 85—because that’s how old I felt while shopping at Hollister.
Once upon a time, Abby was a clogger. Not just a regular clogger, but a COMPETITIVE clogger. And in this post, I tell you a story about one of the very first competitions I ever danced in, and why a particular ‘club hit’ from the 90s has forever damaged my father’s brain.
I was lucky enough to get to see the Broadway production, “Wicked,” last year, along with Brian’s Aunt Tina. It was, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the most memorable experiences of my life. And you shouldn’t be surprised (if you’ve been a reader very long) that it was touched, inevitably, by my long-term celebrity boyfriend, Donnie Wahlberg.
It wouldn’t be the perfect yearly review if there wasn’t at least one post about (or in this case, co-written by) my bloggy bestie, Laverne. This was our very, very first post that we did together, and it morphed into a wonderful friendship. Laverne wrote to me about a child’s birthday party she had attended, and I illustrated it, for one of my favorite Abby/Laverne posts we’ve ever done.
Apparently, readers, you like it when I publish edited photos of myself wearing ridiculous hairstyles, all for the sake of fashion. But it seems you like it even more when I ask for your opinion—I was flooded with comments, emails, and text messages after this post. And many of you cast your vote on which hairstyle suited me best. (The Mariska Hargitay style won, by the way.)
This is yet another blog where I whine about weight loss. I’m convinced that the many page views stem from the awesome photoshopped graphic of my own take on Charlie Sheen’s “Winning.” Or else you all stopped by to look at Bob Harper’s abs.
I published this blog as I was gearing up to see Wicked (see #8.) My poor husband had to endure my bad singing as I wandered through the house, belting out show tunes (and songs from the hit TV series, Smash) at the top of my lungs. Poor, poor Brian’s eardrums.
Apparently, that warning doesn’t apply to you, dear readers, because you LOVED reading about my sudden bought of food poisoning. My graphic descriptions, paired with all the broken blood vessels in my face and eyeballs had y’all coming back for more. You asked for it, so here it is again:
This must be one of those things that a lot of people can relate to, because WOWZA…this blog is probably one of my most popular ones ever written. (This may or may not be related to the fact that it was shared on Pinterest by my friend, Stephanie, from Clay Baboons. Which is AWESOME.)
…and last but not least, because you guys are WEIRD, (or potentially because of the name-brand product used throughout the post)…
You guys are either nuts over Post-It-Notes (I AM TOO!!!!!) or you love my silly brand of humor involving run-on sentences and rambling. Because that’s all this post is—nothing special, just me rambling about stupid stuff on virtual Post-Its. Ya bunch of weirdos.
There you have it, readers—the top ten Gabs from 2012. I look forward to what new stuff I can entice you with in 2013. Clearly, you’ve given me a wide net to cast. Vomit, Post-its, and Charlie Sheen. Thanks for the fodder, friends! I hope you’ll keep coming back for more!
Are you guys on Vine yet? If you’re reading that sentence with a blank stare, let me fill you in. Vine is an app owned by Twitter that allows you to send short, 6 second videos to your Twitter and Facebook feeds. Creativity is a must!! So you know Vine has my name all over it!! Not really. Just figuratively. Anyhoo, best bloggy pal, Laverne, introduced me to it Saturday in a series of Tweets. And since I installed the app, I haven’t been able to stop playing with it. So naturally, I was saddened when I turned on the news this morning and saw that people are using Vine to make 6 second pornography. To that I say, REALLY?? There are a million zillion other things you could be filming, and you choose to film THAT?? If you’ve never used the app before, one of the things that makes it unique is that the videos loop, similar to an animated gif. With that new knowledge, and the word “porn” in your head, I’m pretty sure you now have a good idea of why this is a problem for my shiny new favorite app. I guess I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t shot at least one pornographic video using Vine. But, it was FOOD porn, so I think that comes in under the radar as “safe viewing for children.”
I also used it to show Donnie Wahlberg that I’m digging the new single by the New Kids, called “Remix.”
I marked the grand occasion of finishing my novel with a Vine video, just seconds after typing the last sentence.
You can even use Vine to wish your friends Happy Birthday, just like I did for pal Ray this morning!
So to all the weirdos who are trying to tarnish my new favorite social media toy with their sexy escapades, I say STOPPIT! Don’t ruin the fun for the rest of us! Try shooting videos of dandelions blowing in the breeze, or your kids playing in the snow, or kittens sleeping in a puddle of sunshine! Because the rest of the world does not want to see your kibble-n-bits on a six second loop every time we log into Vine. And I hope the rest of you won’t be scared off from downloading this app, because it really is terrific fun!! Come join me on Vine today! I promise I won’t record anything that will make you go blind.