Category Archives: Humor

Do You Have A Zombie Apocalypse Team?

You guys watch “The Walking Dead,” right? I mean, everyone does. (And if you don’t, you should start now.)

I have a group of friends who are more than enthusiastic about this show. Dinner parties with them often involve strategic meetings on how we will handle the apocalypse when it happens, and don’t be surprised when I tell you that we do, in fact, have a very specific plan for when the dead start walking. Each of us has a job to do, and each of us bring a different dynamic to the group. Brian, as a nurse, is our health care expert. Frank is undoubtedly the “moral compass” of the group, and has also taken on the mantle of team historian. His wife, Linda, is in charge of sniffing out decent bottles of wine to go with our food, prepared by yours truly. Our other pal, Lynda, who originally started our Zombie Apocalypse Team, is cunning and smart–a natural born leader. Her husband, Jimmy, is our “Beth.”

Except our campfire songs will be decidedly more rock-n-roll, since Jimmy is a drummer. Probably lots of Foo Fighters, with some Led Zeppelin thrown in for good measure.

Anywho, you get the drift. Amongst our friends, our game plan is as follows: when the infrastructure fails, and zombies start chasing after us for our very tasty brains, the entire crew will be coming to our house first.

Not because it’s safest or centrally located. Not because it’s zombie proof. But because it’s closest to Google.

Now, I don’t know if other Google facilities are as apocalypse-aware as ours. I don’t know if it’s part of their game plan, or if it’s just a lucky break in design. But this place is impenetrable–high fence with barbed wire, security locked gate, surrounded by hills and trees for cover. In fact, I haven’t the foggiest what the actual facility looks like because they have successfully blocked it from public view. But the one thing that solidified our plan most recently was Google’s addition of its very own water tower.

I’ve had dreams about one of our own climbing carefully to the top, a bag of spray paint on their back, to notify other survivors that we have found a safe haven.

Sanctuary

Once we’ve set up camp at Google Headquarters–I’m imagining there will be some walkers we’ll have to dispatch, probably some fence we’ll have to repair and some cleaning up to do–we can settle in to a life of survival, but in the utmost comfort that an apocalypse survivor can expect. I mean, we’ve all heard how great of a place Google is to work for, so I’m expecting cushy offices from which we can appropriate furniture, access to a state-of-the-art gym, a huge cafeteria we can make use of for food storage and prep, and maybe even a pool, if we’re lucky. We’ll be far enough out of the city center to avoid most giant herds of walkers, but close enough to facilities like Walmart, grocery stores, and pharmacies for supplies.

We would be gracious hosts, but reign with an iron fist. There would be Google Jail for those who acted inappropriately (or for any who stole from our wine stores.) We would set up a kind little community with gardens (for flowers AND vegetables), activities (like mini-marathons and creativity contests, in honor of our host site), and a workable government (Lynda for President!).

It would be a sustainable colony, at least for awhile. All in all, I think it’s a pretty solid plan. And if you’re interested in joining, you’ll have to let us know. We have some questions for you.

For the original meme, which only makes this one funnier, click HERE.

For the original meme, which only makes this one funnier, click HERE.

 

This post is dedicated to my Dinner Club friends–those we affectionately know as The Apocalypse Team.

dinner club

 

Things I’m Loving Lately (Brought to You By The Letter “F”)

I was sitting here this morning, wracking my brain for a blog topic. And then it hit me.

When in doubt, write a list blog.

So, friends, I’m sharing with you a list of things that are making my life a little more exciting lately. And lo and behold, in a totally accidental way, every single thing on my list starts with the letter F. That doesn’t quite equal alliteration, but it’s really dang close. (High five, high school English teacher.) And so, without further ado…

Fthings I’m Floving Flately

Farscape

The hubs and I are really into this whole “binge-watching” television on Netflix. I mean, we were always sorta binge watchers, anyway, just not in an “All Day Sunday In Our Cookie Pants Fourteen Episodes” kind of way. Thank you, Netflix, for profoundly changing our weekends.

We’ve devoured tasty gems like “Breaking Bad,” “Chuck,” and “Sherlock,” all thanks to the wonders of steaming. And now, we’ve delved back into one of our favorites–the all-too-delightful Sci-Fi series, “Farscape.” It was one of those shows we bonded over back when binge watching meant having to rewind VHS tapes. Oh, those were the days. (PS: John Crichton, I still adore you.)

Fitbit

I got a FitBit for Brian’s birthday. (Technically, I think it was supposed to be my Valentine’s Day gift, but I bought it for myself back in January. I’m an overachiever like that.) It’s the Charge HR, and I’ve gotta tell ya, readers, I adore this little bit of technology. I’m not one of those folks that wears it all day, every day, and I certainly don’t sleep in it (although it can track your sleep and let you know how often you’re waking up.) But I DO wear it when I work out. It keeps track of my heart rate, tells me how many calories I’ve burned, and monitors how many steps I take. And when it spits out data like this:

werq

…it not only makes me squeal with delight over the “WERQ” I put in (see what I did there?) but it also makes me want to keep wearing it. Nothing says success like dancing off almost 600 calories in an hour.

Fitz

Are you guys getting sick of hearing about our kitten yet? No? Well that’s good. Because he’s a little fuzzball of energy and adorableness, and he puts a smile on my face every single day. He likes to take frequent breaks during meals to hop on your lap for a ‘thank you’ scratch, he enjoys playing with rolled up receipts more than anything else on the planet, he sleeps under the covers so he can keep an eye on the “blanket monster,” and he plays fetch.

Oh, and guys? He still “meeps.”

 

HOLY CRAPBALLS SO CUTE!!!!!!!

K stupid

I’ve been collecting stuff for awhile (mostly Doctor Who goodies) but this recent release from Funko made me go all squishy inside. (I also have some of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Funkos, but not the full set yet.)

Allow me to point out that Wash is holding—-*sob*—a tiny toy dinosaur. So. Much. Love.

(Also, bonus points for the flowers in the background–those were a Valentine’s Day gift from my Fabulous hubby. Cue chorus of “awwww” now.)

And finally….

To Protect And Serve

Ok, so this one is a bit of a stretch, because the only thing I watch on television on Friday nights is Blue Bloods. And Blue Bloods starts with a B not an F. But it’s my blog, so I can cheat if I want to. And I had to include it in this list for one reason and one reason only.

And no, it’s not (just) Donnie Wahlberg.

It’s because of Jamie Reagan and Edit (pronounced Eddie) Jenko.

Guys, I ship them so hard, I might as well be Fed Ex. It’s TOTES OBVI that they’re madly in love with each other. But here’s the thing–they’re partners, so they can’t express their feelings  because then they won’t be able to work together any more. Oh, the feels!

I’m tempted to start a letter-writing campaign to CBS titled “Why Jamie and Edit need to get together and start making little Reagan babies.” Wanna join me?

So that’s it, gang. Just a few little things that are keeping this gal happy right now. Is there an item in your life right now that’s making you grin from ear to ear? (Extra points if it starts with the letter “f.”)

Go Home, Pinterest. You’re Drunk.

I spend a lot of time on PinterestFor the most part, I pin words of wisdom, healthy recipes, and nerdy stuff like crossover memes where Sherlock meets Doctor Who meets Harry Potter.

1

*crying silently*

Pinterest isn’t just a time suck for me; I utilize it on almost a daily basis to help me with my weight loss goals, or to find the words to describe an emotion that are otherwise lost to me. I’ve come across graphics that have inspired blog topics, found craft projects that have turned into heartfelt gifts for friends or family, and have found some BANGIN’ recipes, like this one for skinny orange chicken.

All of those things make Pinterest worth the time I spend on it (and believe me when I say, I spend a LOT of time on it.) But guys? I think the unsung hero of Pinterest are those weird pins that make you sit back, stare at your computer screen, and go, “What the —–??” You know the ones I mean. You’ve shared them on your Facebook pages or Tweeted them to your followers, all in the name of understanding the origin of said pin. I’ve even started a folder for them. They make me laugh, they make me cringe, and they  make me write a blog about how weird the internet can be sometimes.

Here are a few of my favorites.

Full-Body Sweater

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I have two questions: 1) In what world do you need your face to be warm before your toes and your hands? and 2) When did fashion become about emulating characters on Sesame Street?

In that same vein…

Faux-Muppet Coat = High Fashion

4

It was the photograph that made her career. It just saddens me that I’m sure that ice cream went uneaten. Sigh.

Bowling Ball Art

3

Now, don’t get me wrong. I have a love affair with my glue gun just like the next girl. But this seems…well, like a giant waste of time. And it isn’t even that pretty. I can think of better things to do with my bowling ball. Like go bowling.

A Wedding Dress Made Of Balloons

5

I don’t know about you, but it was my dream as a young bride to come squeaking down the aisle in a dress made of balloons. And can you imagine the receiving line? Don’t hug this chick too hard or we’re gonna go from formal wedding to a streaker at a soccer game in 10 seconds flat.

You Just Crocheted WHAT?

6

When you first see this pin, you’re all like “Aw, look! What a cute little mask!” Then you read the title of the article: “26 Super-Sexy Pairs of Men’s Underwear.”

And then you make this face:

unnamed

And finally, the WEIRDEST thing I’ve EVER seen on Pinterest, EVER

The Formal Chicken Fling

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I have no words.

Enthusiastically Eating My Veggies Today

I had a dream about a salad last night.

My subconscious led me to a place where Brian and I were dining out. This particular restaurant had a salad bar, and I sat down at my booth with a plate filled with fresh mesclun greens, shards of carrot, wedges of ripe red tomato, circles of cucumber, gorgeous broccoli spears, all topped with a tangy but sweet vinaigrette.

Sounds super sexy, doesn’t it?

Eager to dive into my healthy dinner, I didn’t wait for Brian to return from his trip to the salad bar. I speared a bit of broccoli with my fork, closed my eyes, and savored.

When I opened them back up, a certain famous singer/song writer/actor/comedian was sitting in the booth across from me, eyeballing my salad. And this is what he said to me:

Sexy back 2

At that moment, the familiar bass line from “Sexy Back” started playing through the restaurant’s loud speakers, and a bevy of backup dancers arrived tableside. JT jumped up and starting dancing, too, leaving me dumbfounded with a broccoli spear hanging out of my mouth.

Before I could swallow, half of the patrons joined in, and the restaurant filled with the refrain of the famous pop song, with the lyrics slightly changed.

She’s bringin’ sexy back.
She’s eatin’ broccoli and that’s a fact.
Cuz Abby’s special with that healthy snack.
With smart food choices, man, she doesn’t slack.”

As the chorus of “Come here, girl” started up, a group of male dancers dressed like broccoli came dancing out of the kitchen.

Sexy back

At this point it suddenly became apparent to me that it’s all a dream. Not because Justin Timberlake climbed onto the table next to mine and belted out a particularly racy lyric about my hips. Not because the line cooks started throwing up jazz hands. Not even because the back up dancers started doing splits.

But because my husband finally arrived, a giant salad of his own in hand, and started line-dancing with the giant broccolis.

Anyone else thinking of having a salad for lunch now?

It’s That Time of Year Again…

November 1, 2014—a day writers around the globe wait for with baited breath. We don’t even bother putting away the Halloween candy. Nay, we will need all that sugar in the coming days. Instead, we grab our notepads, our laptops, and our flash drives, and we psych ourselves up for THE Writing Marathon Of The Year.

Banner

Thirty days. Fifty thousand words. A novel in a month.

Let’s do this.

Preparations come first. We gather the tools of our trade, preparing our space for the ultimate exercise in creativity. Coffee mugs are filled. Dictionaries are dusted off. Our favorite pens are located and put somewhere safe. We neaten our work stations, clear our minds and our desks of detritus that will keep us from our goal. This is NaNo prep at its finest.

Nano desk

The idea we’ve been marinating on for weeks, or days—or for some of us, minutes–begins to take form in our brains as we open that blank word document. It’s a clean white slate. Zero words, zero expectations, zero thoughts expressed. The time to start is now.

…But first, a selfie…

Nano selfie Day 1

…not just because you’re having a particularly good hair day, or because you happened to be wearing the same color as the prominent shade in this year’s banner. No. You take that selfie because it is commemorating the start of something great. Something amazing. Something AWESOME.

Plus, it’s probably the last time you’ll look this good for the next four weeks. Let’s be honest, here. By day 2, you’ll probably look like a zombie.

Now we turn back to that waiting word document. The cursor flashes expectantly, and the protagonist of your story surges forth with a tale to tell.

Oh. Wait. You forgot to update your Facebook profile pic. And your Timeline cover. OOH–and Twitter. Twitter is important, too. So you head over to the NaNoWriMo website–your home base for the next thirty days–and download your inspirational photos for your many social media sites. You might as well go ahead and create your novel while you’re there, too. I mean, now’s as good a time as any. You may have to do a little research to figure out your working title—that’s ok, you’ve got time. And your profile needs some updating–this is your FOURTH year, not your third. Oh hey, look—you have new messages in your inbox! YES—-a link to the Blue Book you’ll need for the meetings!!….

You chuckle at yourself because, minutes into your first day, you’ve already found yourself sucked into the time honored tradition of procrastination. Well, no more, writer.

NaNoWriMo 2014

The time is now.

Tacky Fun Day

Today is our Tenth Wedding Anniversary.

wedding

We could’ve done any number of things to celebrate this momentous occasion–and in truth, we discussed MANY of them. A trip to somewhere tropical, a giant fancy party, a whirlwind tour of Europe–but when it came right down to it, we figured out the PERFECT way to celebrate the ten years we’ve shared together as man and wife.

We drove to Myrtle Beach–aka Tacky Capital of the East Coast–for the day and pretended like we were tourists.

Now why did we choose to partake in Tacky Fun Day, instead of those other fabulous celebrations I mentioned earlier?

It’s easier if I show you rather than tell you.

So we started our trip at one of the hundreds of beach ware stores you see littering Highway 17 between Georgetown and the North Carolina border. This particular one was a Pacific store, and we went in with a mission.

Find the tackiest t-shirts we could find to wear throughout our adventure.

1

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure we succeeded. Brian couldn’t look at me if I was standing in direct sunlight because, well, my shirt was the color of a fresh new highlighter pen. (PS: I totally should have bought the hot pink sparkly fedora. I rocked it. Hard.)

Once we’d bedecked ourselves in All Colors of 1987, we booked it on over to the Hollywood Wax Museum. Guys? Seriously? Fun doesn’t come any tackier than this. We whiled away the morning jaunting around in the quiet halls of the building, taking selfies with pretend versions of our favorite celebrities. I took a TON of pictures, so I’m only going to share a few of our favorites here.

Top: Our separate reactions to meeting Captain Jack Sparrow. Bottom: The always lovable Tom Hanks, on the set of Forrest Gump.

Top: Our separate reactions to meeting Captain Jack Sparrow.
Bottom: The always lovable Tom Hanks, on the set of Forrest Gump.

3

My handsome husband proving he’s just as tough as Vin Diesel (and in my opinion, a MILLION times cuter.)

6

Y’all better watch out. Bruce Lee and Brian just opened up a can of whoop ass in here.

5

I may have squee’d and run past Jamie Foxx, some race car driver, and Mariah Carey to have my picture taken with The King of Pop. Can you tell I’ve been practicing my dance moves? Can you?

It really shouldn’t surprise you at all that I was willing and eager to jump in a photo with just about any celebrity that the Wax Museum had to offer….

6

Clockwise, from top left: Me with Hugh Hefner (not sure what he’s looking so smug about); Disappointed in Mark Wahlberg’s height; But not so disappointed I wasn’t willing to snuggle him; Dolly’s may be big, but I think mine are bigger; OMG y’all it’s Samuel L. Jackson; Walking like an Egyptian with Elizabeth Taylor.

But probably the most poignant moment, if you can have one of those at a wax museum, was when we came across Robin Williams. I felt compelled to pose for a shot that may have turned out to be the best one of the day.

7

We wiped away the tears and headed downstairs to find the BEST portraits that had been taken as we arrived. “Pose here with King Kong,” they said. “Make funny faces,” they said. And so we did. And I’m SO pleased with how they turned out!

Wax Museum 10001

Wax Museum 10002

We are champs at taking goofy pictures. I think we proved that at the Wax Museum yesterday.

After all that fun, we were still left with hours to fill up our Tacky Fun Day. So off to Ripley’s Aquarium we went. While it isn’t as large or as grand as some of the aquariums Brian and I have visited over the years, it still had a certain charm about it. And the moving pathway underneath the giant shark tank? Super cool. And hard to photograph. So you’ll just have to take my word for it and be satisfied with this blurry picture of me in front of it instead.

9

After a bit of lunch and shopping, we traveled a bit north to the MAIN attraction. We didn’t decide to just go to Myrtle Beach on a whim. Nay, good friends. We went with one specific goal in mind.

Mini Golf.

10

And not just ANY mini golf. Nay, good friends. We drove ALL THE WAY to North Myrtle Beach for the opportunity to play at Professor Hacker’s Lost Treasure Golf. After paying the price of admission, and collecting our clubs and balls, we were shuffled off into a train car and driven to the top of the hill.

That’s right. It’s a putt putt course with a TRAIN.

Now you know why we drove up to North Myrtle Beach. (Sheldon would be proud.)

Just to set things up for you a little, Brian and I are pretty competitive when it comes to things like mini golf. We play on a pretty regular basis, and whoever wins bragging rights…well, let’s just say it’s a fun little jab that we use in day-to-day life until the next mini golf game is played.

I’d also like to mention that the last time we played, I didn’t just lose. I lost SPECTACULARLY. By dozens of strokes. I was slaughtered on the greens.

However, luck was in my favor yesterday. I beat Brian not just once, but twice. And here’s the shot of the hole-in-one that sealed my husband’s fate as a mini golf loser:

11

…and Brian’s subsequent “I’m not happy” selfie.

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Ha HA! Suck it up, loser! … … … I mean, don’t be glum, chum. There are SO MANY OTHER THINGS in life that you excel at … … … I mean, you played so well, sweetie! You should be proud of yourself! You came in SECOND PLACE!!! … … …

Ok, I’ll stop. The next 10 years of my marriage may depend on it.

The final stop of our whirlwind tour of tackyland was actually a bit of a fluke. We wound up at WonderworksI’d seen the wonky, upside-down building from the highway many times before, and never wondered what was inside. Lo-and-behold, it was an entire attraction filled with fun scienc-y stuff. YAY! Science is fun!

We experienced hurricane-force winds, learned about gravity and the pulley system, played trivia games based on everything from geology to theme songs from the 80s, and attempted to land the virtual space shuttle. (Brian’s aside: he SUCCESSFULLY landed. I crashed three times.) (But that’s ok. Because he sucks at putt putt, so it’s all relative.)

We also got electrocuted:

Made giant bubbles:

page

And got to pretend we were real live astronauts:

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It was a Nerd’s Paradise.

We capped off the evening with a quiet dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, whiling away the moments between bites of awesomeness with recounted memories from that blissful day.

So, you see, I don’t need a week in the Poconos. I don’t want a cruise in the Mediterranean, or a big fancy party. Because what I have is a partner, a best friend, a teammate, a playmate, and a husband, all rolled into one. I’d say that makes us winners.

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Except for at mini golf. At least in Brian’s case.

I Learned Something About Myself Recently…

I suck at puzzles.

How? How can I be horrible at something that requires such precision, such concentration, such….OCD? I mean, I ROCK at sock-mating, and color-coding, and label-making. How can I be bad at putting together a puzzle??

bad at something

You’re probably wondering why it is that I’m discovering this little tidbit about myself so late in life. Well, Brian and I are gearing up for yet another adoption fundraiser, and this one involves a 1,000 piece puzzle. (For more info on the fundraiser, you can click on the handy-dandy little tab at the top of your screen titled “Puzzle Pieces.”)

I just knew, when we read about this fundraiser, that it was gonna be a winner. I mean, not only was it going to give us a project to keep us focused and busy, but we were going to get to spend a couple of days putting a puzzle together, too. And I just KNEW, down to the very fibers of my soul, that I was going to kick ass at puzzles. I mean, I know I rocked them  hard core when I was in kindergarten. Watch out, alphabet puzzle. I’m coming for you.

But the puzzle we chose is…difficult. As in, if puzzles came in difficulty levels, with 1 being the alphabet puzzle and 10 being super-duper puzzle of hardness….well, we chose a level 25 puzzle.

The pieces are TINY. Not kidding. See:

tiny puzzle piece

And to make matters worse, the puzzle we chose is ALL words…so there’s lots of blank space. Ever tried putting together a bunch of plain white puzzle pieces? Yeah. It’ll make you go cross-eyed faster than reading ‘Dune.’

But I had no idea what was facing me as we happily dumped the puzzle out onto the table to get started. I jumped into organizational mode and promptly separated all the pieces by color, then bagged and labeled each color. Boom. Puzzle master.

We decided to start at the bottom and work our way up, and so I chose the correctly labeled baggie, and dumped the pieces out in front of us. After about 10 minutes, I had shuffled the pieces around and felt relatively confidant that, very soon, I was going to be able to locate 2 pieces that fit together.

That confidence was shattered when I looked over to my right and saw that my over-achieving husband had already successfully put together an ENTIRE WORD. In, like, 10 seconds.

Brian the puzzler

This is Brian’s smug face.”

“Ok, fine,” I thought to myself. “So he’s great at puzzles. No surprises there. But I’m sure I can be good at this, too….I just need to concentrate.”

So I stared at the pieces in front of me with a higher intensity, urging my brain to work at the level I know it’s capable of. And still…nothing.

After an hour of staring at the same 25 pieces, I managed to put together about 10 of them.

Abby's pieces

And no, it doesn’t say “YOLO.”

Brian, in the meantime, had managed to put together the rest of the phrase in its entirety, and had started on the next line, giving me the time I needed to feel like an utter and complete failure.

Oh well. There’s always sock-mating.

The Potato Salad Challenge

Links you may be interested in after watching this video blog:
Mr. Brown’s Potato Salad KickStarter Page

***Friends and neighbors—-share share share!!! Who knows…maybe our response to this news story will FINALLY make our adoption newsworthy as well!!!****

Grown-Up Birthday Do’s & Don’ts

Birthdays change the older you get. Once upon a time, it was all about balloons, stacks of presents, and creepy animatronic bears that play the ukelele and sing disco songs. Then, as you hit the teenage years, it became all about how much money you were going to be given so that you could hopefully (FINALLY!) buy that coveted Ricky Martin CD. And finally, as the calendar sent you rocketing toward that all important 21st birthday, all plans involved where you were drinking, what you were drinking, and who you were drinking with.

As the twenties come to a close, and you find yourself looking down the barrel of “thirty-something,” birthdays become something all together different. There may be a fancy dinner out with a spouse, or some cupcakes from your best friend. But gone are the days of “week long birthday celebrations” and “themed birthday parties” and “night of a thousand shots.”

33

Yeah….pretty much.

I find with each passing birthday that I become more introspective; flipping through my memory files of the last year and taking stock of all I have accomplished, making note of the failures and heartaches, wondering how things will change in the next 365 days of my life.

And since my birthday has become such a different event with age, I figured it was high time to create a “Do/Don’t” list for adult birthdays. After all, I’m not the only one on this thirty-something rocket ship heading straight for middle age.

Abby’s Grown-Up Birthday Do’s and Don’ts:

DO: Bring me cake. No restrictions here—all sweets are fair game. Bonus if there’s chocolate!!

DON’T: Ask me how old I am turning. I think that ship sails after your 21st birthday. Besides, math isn’t my strong suit. I’m pretty sure I told no less than 4 people that I was turning 34 today. Turns out, after I pulled out my calculator, that I moved a decimal point or something incorrectly, and I’m ACTUALLY 33. What? Math is hard.

math is hard

See? Told ya.

DO: Feel free to wish me a happy birthday. Facebook messages, Tweets, emails, phone calls, birthday cards, sky-written messages of your love for me—-all 100% wonderful. I love hearing from you, especially when you’re telling me I’m awesome.

DON’T: Spend a fortune on a gift for me. Truth be told, there’s not a whole lot in this world that I need or want. I’d rather you bring me the aforementioned chocolate goodie and spend thirty minutes with me than for you to buy me a diamond studded tiara. Unless, of course, you feel so inclined. Then bring on the bling, baby. I can rock a crown like nobody’s bidness.

DO: Feel free to change the subject. Sure, you can wish me happy birthday, ask me about my plans, even sing to me in Spanish if you want to. But after that, we can talk about anything else in the world and I’d be ok with it. There’s something about no longer being a fresh-faced pig-tailed 8 year old who’s wishing beyond hope for a flying unicorn with pink wings for her birthday that makes them not so sparkly any more. And that’s ok. I’d rather talk about that thing that happened the other day than my birthday anyway.

DON’T: Let me mope about turning a year older. It’s going to happen. Inevitably, about a week before my birthday, you will find me in a melancholy, mopey, morose place. Remind me that 33 isn’t that old, I still have plenty of time to accomplish my goals and chase my dreams. Tell me that I’m crazy–there are no gray hairs to be found atop my head. Shake your head and laugh at me when I worry out loud that I’m getting laugh lines. And above all else, give me permission to keep wearing my favorite nerdy tees, despite the fact that I probably should’ve stopped wearing them at 26.

And finally, DO: Bring me cake. I know….I already mentioned that before. But seriously. I like cake.

Happy Anniversary, FRIENDS

For those of you not in the know, we just celebrated the tenth anniversary of the final episode of the best show ever, Friends.

Friends cast

Click for Source

Crap. Now I want a milkshake.

Anywho, I am a HUGE fan of this show. So much so that I still use quotes from the dialogue on a regular basis. (Could I BE any cooler?)  So when my newsfeed started lighting up with Friends articles right around the anniversary date, I clicked on and read them ALL. My favorite? A blog by a writer named Tsh, called “The One Where I Love Friends.” It’s hilarious. And I loved it so much I went in search of Friends gifs that I could relate to my own life. Here’s what I came up with.

Me when I get question right on Final Jeopardy:

a woo-hoo!

Me when I’m on a diet:

MINE!

Me when the cats start yowling for food at 5 o’clock in the morning:

shut uuuuup

Me when Brian does the laundry without being asked:

how you doin?

Me when that thing happened on The Game of Thrones and I totally wasn’t expecting it:

huh? What?Me when I’m reading people’s Facebook status updates:

GRAMMAR please.

Me with every single baby I encounter:

a boo boo boo

Me with my iPhone when Brian catches me Twitter stalking Zachary Levi:

not guilty

Me in line at the grocery store when a cool jam starts playing:

groovin

Me at my Werq class:

boogaloo

Me with a particularly irritating customer:

grr

Me when I read that Donnie Wahlberg is engaged to She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named:

Whyyyyyyyyyyy?

Me reading Dune:

bo-ring

Me when I’m right and you’re wrong:

dancin'

Me constantly doing jazz hands for no apparent reason:

jazz hands

And finally….me every single time I watch the Friends series finale:

sob

Ok, that was so much fun. Thank you, internet, for having so many wonderful gifs to choose from. Now…I’m gonna go watch Friends all day.