Snowmageddon 2014

For Southerners like me, winter typically just means we can’t wear our flip flops again till March. But this year…this year, Mother Nature seems to have a different path for those of us residing south of the Mason Dixon line.

About a week ago, meteorologists far and wide started talking about the “perfect storm” of 2014. Lots of scientific facts involving lower temperatures, cold fronts, and precipitation were tossed in our direction, and those of us who have been living in the South for most (if not all) of our lives shook it off as typical winter weather banter.

But unlike years past, those meteorologists kept talking about that perfect storm. They got all excited and animated, and whipped up new graphics of a giant angry monster storm bearing down on us with a vengeance.

Weather map courtesy of Live 5 News, Charleston.

Weather map courtesy of Live 5 News, Charleston.
I added the angry monster face, for flair.

Now listen, after living in the mountains of North Carolina for 4 years, and experiencing the real meaning behind the word “blizzard,” I tend to balk at stories like this one. A little sleet doesn’t scare me. Snow seems like such a foreign concept that I often roll my eyes when people mention it. Temperatures dipping below 30 degrees doesn’t seem like such a huge deal to me.

That is not the case for lifelong Low Country folks. They hear the words “ice” and “snow,” and they do the “OMG BUY ALL THE BREAD AND BATTERIES WITHIN A TWENTY MILE RADIUS STAT” dance.

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There hasn’t been a single flurry, drop, or tinkle yet, and schools are already announcing closures. Businesses are sending out FB messages and tweets to let everyone know they won’t be open after 2 pm today, and probably won’t be open tomorrow, either, due to “inclement weather.” People flocked to grocery stores yesterday, stripping their shelves of bread, milk, and batteries. (Funnily enough, we didn’t have a problem finding everything on our grocery list. In fact, they had black beans on sale, buy one get one free. SCORE!)

Graphic provided by Live 5 News, Charleston.

Graphic provided by Live 5 News, Charleston.

While I understand the need to have milk and bread in the case of a storm, all I could see while looking at that photo was the one thing that patrons of the grocery stores were FAILING to buy.

Seriously, Charleston??? Wine is WAY more important during a crisis than water.

Seriously, Charleston??? Booze is WAY more important during a crisis than water.

At any rate, things are quiet around here today. The phone isn’t ringing, there aren’t many cars on the highway, and folks seem to be waiting at home, battening down the hatches, in preparation for Snowmageddon 2014.

And I have to admit–while I’m skeptical that we will actually get the 3 inches of snow predicted, I’m all set to sit back and watch the weather roll in. I’ve got everything I need…

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…a warm hat, a fuzzy scarf, and booze.

If you don’t hear from me for a few days, readers, one of three things has happened: we’ve succumbed to Snowmageddon and are currently buried in snow up to our ankles; we’ve lost power thanks to ice and are currently huddled around a kerosene heater wishing our iPhones were charged; nothing really important has happened, I’m just ensconced in another project right now. Happy Snow Day!

7 thoughts on “Snowmageddon 2014

  1. Nagzilla

    This made me crack up. Especially since we’re on day three in the past five when Andrea doesn’t have school because “dangerously cold wind chills” have caused just about every school in the state to close its doors. In fairness, -45 degrees does suck, and I can’t imagine sending my kid walking or hanging out at a bus stop for 20 minutes in this crap. Heck, even the DOG doesn’t want to go out in this. I’ve never seen my dog do her business in such a speedy fashion.

    But seriously, at this point 20-30 degrees sounds downright balmy. Heck, if it got up to 40, I think I’d be cracking out the shorts and flip flops. Totally done with the polar vortex at this point. Remind me why I live in Minnesota?

    1. ThatGabbyAbby Post author

      I’m afraid I can’t really offer you an explanation over your choice of habitat. I can, however, say that if you wear shorts and flip flops during this polar bear vortex, I’d be super-impressed and might even erect a statue in your honor. Good luck in the cold, friend.

  2. tobefluent

    I burst out laughing when I read the words “3 inches of snow predicted”. We got 17 inches of snow last Wednesday. It was the third major blizzard of the year, each of which has dumped over a foot of snow in less than 24 hours. We call days when we get 4 or 5 inches of snow “Monday”. (And yes, this winter does seriously suck, thanks for asking.)

  3. Stephanie

    Errrr…sorry. Please just delete my last comment in which I apparently don’t even have a name.

    I have to admit that I burst out laughing when I read the words “3 inches of snow predicted”. We got 17 inches of snow last Wednesday. It was the third major blizzard of the year, each of which has dumped over a foot of snow in less than 24 hours. We call days when we get 4 or 5 inches of snow “Monday”. (And yes, this winter does seriously suck, thanks for asking.)

    Stay safe in the storm!

    (And, contrary to my snowier-than-you attitude, I really do understand how hard snow can be if you live in an area that isn’t prepared. After all, we have snowplows and salt trucks and winter tires just waiting for the white stuff. It’s really *not* comparable to where you are! So I hope everyone stays safe!)

    1. ThatGabbyAbby Post author

      I know, I know…us Southerners are super-spoiled. I can’t imagine living somewhere so snowy. Our entire state literally shut down for 3 days because of a little sleet. Hoping your feet stay cozy warm and that you’re enjoying lots of hot chocolate–because otherwise, what is winter for??

  4. Dad

    The Little Ice Age (LIA) was a period of cooling that occurred after the Medieval Warm Period (Medieval Climate Optimum).[1] While it was not a true ice age, the term was introduced into the scientific literature by François E. Matthes in 1939.[2] It has been conventionally defined as a period extending from the sixteenth to the nineteenth centuries,[3][4][5] or alternatively, from about 1350 to about 1850,[6

    Soooo…..maybe this will last a “little” longer.

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