Words, Words, Words

As a writer, words are so much more than a means of communication. Words are my foundation, my craft, and my passion. On most every day, I can manage to find the words to adequately express how I’m feeling.

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It’s true, however, that I’m a little more awkward in conversation: I write with more eloquence than I speak. Perhaps it’s because writing gives me the opportunity to pause, to decipher, to carefully select the perfect word, like the perfect morsel from the plate. Perhaps it’s because writing allows me to self-edit, backing up when my thought derails, removing the words that don’t quite express what I’m trying to express.

Perhaps it’s because of my readily available Thesaurus app. (Hey, now. Don’t judge.)

Either way, thoughts that I’m unable to articulate out loud often flow easily when I put pen to paper. (Or keyboard to cursor, as it were.) It’s rare that I find myself without words.

But it happens on occasion. And when it does, I find myself floundering, struggling for purchase, unsure in a world that I’ve carved out for myself.  I feel like I’m floating away a little from my own reality, like a boat cut loose from its mooring.

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I’m a writer. I should be able to find the words to describe this feeling. And yet, they elude me. That makes a difficult, uncomfortable feeling that much more unbearable.

So I’ll put down my bag of tricks, for now. I’ll give my adverbs the day off, and I’ll leave the alliteration for another day. Because even a writer, sometimes, can be left without the right words. Sometimes, as an artist, it becomes imperative to step back, let life happen, and wait for the storms to pass. Sometimes, even when the words can act like a balm to the injured places, they fail to present themselves for the healing that needs to take place.

I’ll be looking for them: shining my flashlight into the dark spaces, searching for the words that I know are in my heart somewhere. I’ll be pondering over them: waiting until not just some words, but THE words find me before I share them. And I know, with my writer’s soul, that I will find them. Eventually.

4 thoughts on “Words, Words, Words

  1. Carrie (akaLaverne)

    What a beautiful poetic piece. It may seem simple to many. Just words talking about words but I know better. I wish I could reach through this computer and give you a huge gigantic hug…because i lnow it hurts but everything will be ok but I know that those wont help right now but the hug would! XOXOXOXOXO

  2. Elina MK

    You can do it, Abby!!! We are all waiting for your masterpiece with bated breath (well, at least I am), lol. Oops, I hope that’s not too much of a pressure on you 😮

    Seriously though, it’s just a temporary funk – take a breather, look around, hug the kitties, kiss Brian (not necessarily in that order), ogle ol’ Donnie (and the other NKOTB) some more, wiggle your feet in the sand by the sea (unless it’s too cold, I live in a tropical country so am not sure what the temperature’s like over there), and do other non-literary related things to reset your mind, body and soul…

    Pretty soon you’ll find your creative juices easing the way for the oh-so-many words racing each other to slip, slide, scuttle, and scurry their way from your mind to your fingertips; where they’ll be transmitted and transmuted into a wondrous, whimsical, wry, witty work of art!!!

    Much love and hugs from halfway across the world.

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