Funny Conversations With My Husband: The Difference Between Presents and Necessities

Brian recently started working full-time as an RN. It’s so exciting!! Not just because he’s finally living his dream, and putting his education to good use. But because he’s nearly tripled his salary.

That’s right, I said tripled.

So naturally, when he got his first pay check, we sort of felt like this:


We’re not exactly swimming in cash, but his first check, paired with our tax refund money, left us giddy with that “holy crap we’re rich” feeling. And so, we did what all good Americans do when they find themselves “in the money.”

We went out yesterday and spent some.

After months of dreaming about, talking about, and drooling over an air brush kit for his most recent hobby (customizing and hand-painting Transformers), Brian finally took the plunge yesterday and bought one. This particular kit, and all the bells and whistles needed to make it actually work, set us back about $250. For the housewife who recently was trying her best to stretch $50 to last two weeks (i.e., ME) I had a little bit of sticker shock. But he’s really been wanting one, and we definitely had the money in the account for it. So the “green light” was given, and he happily marched up to the register at Hobby Lobby with the air brush kit under his arm.

(Not really, because Jacob the cashier wouldn’t let us walk through the store with the giant box by ourselves, because we might stuff it under our shirts and try to walk out with it.)

(Also, if you haven’t noticed the money puns I’ve been using, I’m very sad. Go back and look for them. I’ll wait.)

As we loaded his purchases into the back of the car, the following conversation took place:

Abby: So, when do I get my big ticket, $250, “We Have Lots of Money Now Woohoo” present?
Brian: Oh, yeah. I’ve been meaning to tell you, if you wanted to go ahead and schedule your eye exam so you can get some new glasses, that would be ok.
Abby: Are you kidding?
Brian: … … … What?
Abby: You get to spend $250 on a super-fun toy, and you think that is equivalent to me getting my eyes dilated and getting a new prescription for glasses?
Brian: I mean, you’ve been asking for glasses for awhile now…
Abby: That’s because I CAN’T SEE!
Brian: Ok, Ok…I get it…
Abby: It’s been THREE YEARS since I got new glasses, and I have to squint with the ones I’m wearing now just to read road signs!
Brian: I know! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…
Abby: I mean, seriously…that’s like winning the lottery, and you get a shiny new car, and I get to go in for a colonoscopy.
Brian: I get it, I get it…I’m sorry. 
Abby: … … …
Brian: So, what big ticket item do you want?
Abby: I don’t know. Diamond-studded glasses?

Watch out, world. Here I come.



2 thoughts on “Funny Conversations With My Husband: The Difference Between Presents and Necessities

  1. Laverne Smith

    Sadly first of all when you wrote Jacob I thought twilight pun and instantly missed all the money puns. Bad friend…hanging head. Also seriously Laverne…Jacob. Not even that big of a twilight fan but Jacob…swoon oh my. Maybe Brian will buy you one of those?! Soooooo what are you going to get??? Is Brian going to airbrush you???

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