Meet Captain McSneezyPants

I believe that everyone has their own special brand of super-hero-ness. You might not know it, but there’s something about you that could be construed as a super power. Maybe your smile can light up a room, or maybe your soprano high notes shatter glass. Either way, it makes you special. Unique.

I mean, Mary Tyler Moore can turn the world on with her smile.

Donnie Wahlberg can turn the world on with his abs.

And not to toot my own horn or anything, but I can turn the world on with my homemade cupcakes.

My husband’s super power, however, isn’t always one that puts a big grin on Earth’s face. In fact, if he’s not careful, Brian’s super power can part hair, break windows, and startle someone into a panic attack.

My husband’s super power is his sneeze. Let’s call them his Super Sonic Sneezes.

When we first started living together, a sneeze from Brian was enough to leave me huddled in the corner, arms over my head, preparing for the ceiling to fall. Seriously. They are that loud. It got so bad that I finally asked him to try and devise a way to warn me when he feels one coming on.

It took a few years, and a few trial runs. Flare guns don’t work inside. Tapping his leg didn’t help much either, since my clogging background brainwashed me to recognize that sign as the beginning of a hoe-down.

After years of practice and polish, Brian finally has a signal down. It works in almost every situation (although we find it can be slightly dangerous when he is driving.) But regardless, it gives me a chance to batten down the hatches, prepare myself for the thunderous sound that will issue from between his lips, and grab a hold of any expensive vases.

You can imagine our surprise (and dismay) when we discovered that another person on this planet uses Captain McSneezyPants’ Super Secret Sneeze Signal. And not only is he using it as a source of adorableness, but also to sell people on a service plan with AT&T.

Uh-Oh. Your Super Secret Sneeze Signal has been compromised. Back to the drawing board, Captain.

Note: I’m not selling anything for Disney, nor am I making any money for posting an AT&T commercial. Both videos just help me illustrate my point a little better. And the kid in that phone commercial cracks me up.

2 thoughts on “Meet Captain McSneezyPants

  1. Laverne Smith

    I t must be quite a sneeze!!! and it must be quite a signal. Thank goodness you two have come up with a plan for it otherwise who knows what precious items might be damaged. Happy to know flares were not used. Going to read clogging post. You crack me up!!!!

  2. Pingback: The True Definition of Awesome | AbbyGabs

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