The Life of a Celebrity’s Pretend Girlfriend

It’s been a lonely, lonely summer. The big-time romance with my famous boyfriend, Donnie Wahlberg, is going a little stale. I’ve been doing my part, faithfully Twitter-stalking him on my many electronic devices. 

But alas, he’s nowhere to be found.

It’s a sad, sad state of affairs. You see, once upon a time, my Twitter feed would light up on an almost-hourly basis with Tweets from my sweetie. There were pictures from the set of Blue Bloods, updates on his fellow band mates, tweets from the road. I miss his silly videos, like this one:

And his daily bits of encouragement, which his fans have started calling WOWs (or words of wisdom.) My favorite of all time (so far)?

Because he used a hyphen, and made up a word. And it is flat-out adorable.

Each morning I dash to my computer, hoping that he’s surfaced for a quick Twitter chat. And each time my Twitter feed is empty, I feel a little bit sadder. But my love for him runs so deep, that despite his lack of Twitter activity lately, I continue to go back. Holding my breath. Hoping for more. Sigh.
In my mind, I know he just came off of a huge world tour (Europe, Australia, South America, Mexico.) They also just finished up with the 2012 New Kids on the Block Cruise. (If you love me, you’ll give me the eleventy-billion dollars it costs so I can go next year.) I know he’s probably taking a much-deserved vacation, relaxing on some remote beach somewhere, soaking up the sunshine and adoration of the women of a nearby village.
But that doesn’t make me miss him any less.
Thankfully, there’s a whole mess of Donnie’s girlfriends out there in the world, and in an act of sisterly solidarity, we’ve been keeping one another abreast of his comings and goings. We tweet, we Facebook, we upload pictures to Twitpic and Instagram. The most organized of us got together and created the MOST AWESOME WEBSITE EVER. Those Wahlberg Men dot com are solely responsible for the epicness that is my Donnie Wahlberg desk calendar.
It’s swoon-worthy on a daily basis.

They also keep my Donnie mania quenched by posting some of the most excellent fan pics I’ve ever seen in my life. While I wasn’t able to be on the boat with all the other “Block Heads” this summer, with the help of Those Wahlberg Men, I almost felt like I was there thanks to photos like this one:
It leaves me speechless.

And so, though I’ve thought about ending it, though it’s been on-again-off-again, and though I’m on the verge of insanity from the loneliness, I’ll stick it out. I will keep pounding the proverbial pavement in the virtual world that is the Twitterverse. It takes a lot of work being a celebrity’s pretend girlfriend. But I’ll keep it up. Because I could never turn my back on those abs.
Thanks to the moderators at Those Wahlberg Men dot com for the awesome swag, photos, band updates and more! You guys rock!!

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