Conversations with My Husband: The Omelet That Never Ends

As I mentioned in my last post, Brian is on summer vacation from school. Which means he’s home 4 days a week, from dawn to dusk. It’s been three whole weeks of no school, and I’ve enjoyed every second of having him home.

So much so that I’m afraid I’ve already been spoiled by his constant presence.

Because even though Brian doesn’t have classes right now, he still works on weekends—three 12-hour shifts, Friday through Sunday. And even though I always look forward to my Gilmore Girls Marathon on Friday morning, by Friday evening, I’m desperately lonely.

Which leads to conversations like this one, which we had last night while climbing into bed:

Abby: “Don’t go to work tomorrow.”
Brian: “I have to.”
Abby: “No, don’t. Stay home with me. You know you want to.”

Brian: “Of course I do. But I have to work because we need money.”
Abby: “P-shaw. Who needs money?? I’ll pay you to stay home.”
Brian: “And where are you going to get the money to pay me to stay home?”

Abby: “My bank account.”
Brian: “You mean our joint bank account?”
Abby: “Well, yeah.”
Brian: “Uh huh. And what do we do when we have to spend that money on groceries and there’s no more money left in that joint bank account for us to survive off of?”

Abby: *grumble grumble whine sigh grumble*

It continues on like this, logic versus relentlessness, until it becomes obvious (to me, anyway) that only bribery will work.

Abby: “Soooo…if you stay home tomorrow, I’ll make you breakfast. Anything you want in the whole wide world.”
Brian: “Oh yeah?”

Abby: “Yeah. And then we’ll go to Disney Land and have lunch with Tinkerbell. And then we’ll go on a cruise. In outer space. It’ll be awesome. You really should stay home.”
Brian: (long pause, then) “Well, alright. I’ll stay home.”
Abby: “REALLY?”

Brian: “Yeah, sure.”
Abby: “Awesome! So, what do you want for breakfast?”
Brian: “An omelet.”
Abby: “Just a plain omelet?”
Brian: “No. An omelet with sausage. And onions. And peppers.”
Abby: “Ok, I can do that.”
Brian: “And tomatoes. And cheese. It’s not an omelet without cheese.”

Abby: “Naturally.”
Brian: “I also want scratch-made biscuits. And pancakes.”
Abby: “Gee, you’re planning on being really hungry tomorrow morning.”

Brian: “Yep. Pancakes from scratch–no mix. And organic syrup.”
Abby: “Wow….”
Brian: “And also, apple-wood smoked bacon.”

Abby: “Are you sure you want to eat so much before your first trip on a rocket to outer space? You might be sick.”
Brian: “Yep.”
Abby: “So let me get this straight. You want an omelet with sausage and onions and peppers and tomatoes and cheese, scratch-made biscuits and pancakes with organic syrup…”
Brian: “Scratch-made pancakes, no mix.”
Abby: “Right, scratch-made pancakes, no mix, with organic syrup, and apple-wood smoked bacon. Did I get that right?”
Brian: “Yep.”

Abby: “Gee. I’m going to be cooking all day.”
Brian: “But if you’re cooking all day, we won’t have time for Disney Land, lunch with Tinkerbell, or the outer-space cruise.”
Abby: “I know.”

Brian: “So I guess we better cancel all those plans, huh?”
Abby: “Yeah, probably so.”

Brian: “That stinks. Maybe another day?”
Abby: “Maybe.”
Brian: “Don’t worry. We can go Monday. I’m off all day on Monday.”
Abby: “Okay.”

We open our prospective books and read in silence for a few minutes. And then…

Abby: “Wait, what kind of cheese do you want on your omelet?”
Brian: (without missing a beat) “Goat.”
Abby: “Goat. Got it. So you want a goat cheese omelet with sausage and onions and peppers and tomatoes with scratch-made biscuits…”

And we both collapse into giggles. Because we are awesome. And I am not above bribing my husband with the omelet that never ends in order to spend a few more hours with him. Any day.


2 thoughts on “Conversations with My Husband: The Omelet That Never Ends

  1. Kindred Adventures

    I hate when we get spoiled spending so much time with someone and then it has to stop but we never want it to stop. Your wit, love of life and Brian and humor make me smile. And you are… Always the romantic!!!

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