How An Electronic Device Has Made My Life Exponentially Better (IE: I Might Write Sonnets & Song Lyrics In Its Honor)

Up until a few days ago, any time I wanted to watch TV, I first had to round up a gaggle of remotes. (I’m not sure just how many remotes constitutes a gaggle, but suffice it to say, it’s more than two but less than 10.)

There was a remote for the cable box. Another for the PS3 (which we use as a DVD player as well as a game console.) A third remote was used solely for the purpose of changing between HDMI and AV (I have no idea what that means, only that HDMI2 means I can watch Buffy on DVD and AV2 means I can play Just Dance 2 on the Wii.) And then, there was the teeny, tiny, easy-to-lose sound remote. It’s only job was to turn on the sound. I could have all 3 big remotes but without that little jerk, watching TV turned into a digital game of charades. 


Please let me reiterate my disdain for the teeny tiny surround sound remote. I hated it from Day One, which was approximately 2 years ago (read: around the same time that Brian started nursing school.) My begging started during that same time frame.

Abby: Honey, can’t we please just buy a universal remote?
Brian: I mean, I guess…what’s wrong with 4 remotes?

Abby: Seriously?
Brian: We just need to find somewhere to put them, so they’re always there when we need them.
Abby: *crickets chirping*
Brian: You know, like a basket, or a remote caddy, or a special drawer.
Abby: *crickets still chirping*
Brian: Hey, what about that basket your Mom gave you for office stuff? That would be perfect! We’ll put it right in front of the TV so we won’t forget.
Abby: *you guessed it. More crickets.*
Brian: It’ll be GREAT!

Needless to say, Brian’s ingenious idea only worked about .64% of the time…which is to say that the only time all 4 remotes found their home in their comfy new basket was when I was cleaning up the living room for company, and they all got put there at the very. same. time. Inevitably, the cable remote stayed nearest to my coffee mug. The PS3 remote would wind up in a drawer on the other side of the room. The TV remote was most often found under the entertainment center.

And the teeny tiny sound remote? Who knows. It’s been lost no less than eleventy-billion times.

After two years of begging, and pleading, and cursing the teeny tiny sound remote, my dreams finally came true. Brian drove to Best Buy, acquired a new universal remote, and programmed that bad boy to perfection. And guess what—-it does ALL THE STUFF!!


I’ve never been so in love with a device that runs on batteries IN MY LIFE. (Except for my cell phone. Although, we’ve been on the outs for a while now. But it’s still a love/hate relationship.) One little green button is devoted to turning on the TV. The other little green button turns on the cable box. The handy-dandy INPUT button switches between HDMI and AV. 

And my favorite new button on my favorite new remote??? The AMP button. Why? 

If I haven’t adequately put into words how I feel about this universal remote, let’s try an Abby Gabs illustration instead:
*Artist’s note: I may or may not say that quote every single time I pick up the remote, in a deep falsetto. And I may or may not swoosh the remote through the air like it’s flying, singing the Superman theme song all the live long day. Maybe. It hasn’t been recorded for posterity, so you can only take my word for it at this point.*
I would take a second to be slightly embarrassed about my obvious infatuation with a piece of plastic. But I’m too busy hugging it and kissing it and calling it George.

6 thoughts on “How An Electronic Device Has Made My Life Exponentially Better (IE: I Might Write Sonnets & Song Lyrics In Its Honor)

  1. MrsJenB

    LOL I love this! And…not to brag or anything because I know your love is fresh and new…but mine has a display screen. That’s right. I said it. 😉

  2. blissflower1969

    I’m shocked you could find a universal remote that matches your cable remote. We’ve not had any luck with that. Perhaps you don’t have the evil monopoly of Comcast?

    1. blissflower1969

      I actually miss Time Warner. We had that when we lived in Texas. No other options up here in Minnesota unless we do one of the satellite networks. And our town home is positioned as such that it’s not really conducive for good reception. So…we’re stuck. And we have four remotes. *sigh*

Comments are closed.