I’ve never done a craft tutorial before.
You will see why by the end of this blog.
But, I was inspired by my friend Stephanie over at Love Life Project. She is the kind of person who makes stuff, and her projects always turn out Martha Stewart Magazine worthy. Jewelry boxes, notebooks, paintings…
In short, I want to be Stephanie when I grow up.
Eager to join the party, I was excited when the opportunity for a craft project presented itself this week. So I decided to build my own Step-By-Step Tutorial. Enjoy.
How To Paint An Olive Oil Bottle You Can Be Proud Of
Step One: Have your Dad break your Mom’s olive oil bottle.
After cleaning up the shards of glass, listening to your Mom lament her favorite piece of crockery–now deceased, and watching your Dad pace a groove in the kitchen carpet, you will be able to present them with the perfect alternative! A hand-painted bottle, created by your helpful, talented, creative daughter! Voila! Tears will instantly dry, smiles will replace frowns, and the angels will sing your praises on high.
Step Two: Find a plain glass olive oil bottle.
Because it’s easier to paint if if there’s nothing else on it yet. Unless, of course, you suck at painting and would rather pass off a store bought one as your own handiwork. You know what they say about hindsight being 20/20, right….?
Step Three: Turn up the radio, gather your equipment, and let your inner artist come out.
What you’ll need:
Paint (I just used basic craft paint that sticks to all surfaces)
A myriad of brushes (half of which you won’t even use)
A vessel to hold your paint (yeah, it’s an old plate. What? I was fresh out of fancy palettes.)
A glass of water (to rinse your brushes. And to spark creativity as you try and guess what substance it looks like as it changes colors)
Paper towels (especially if you’re messy like me.)
Step Four: Paint in the background colors, then let the bottle dry. Completely. Yes, this takes longer than 4 minutes.
Don’t forget to hum along to the music. Oh, and painting over the same spot for a solid 45 seconds probably won’t coat it any better. And did I mention letting it dry? Yeah…do that. Otherwise you’ll end up with streaks and stuff. So get up, walk away, do some laundry/dishes/cross-stitching and LEAVE IT BE!
Step Five: Add in the details.
For some, that may be intricate stencils, free-handed seascapes, or beautifully scripted letters. For me—blobs of paint that are *supposed* to look like flowers. Remember in step two, when I told you to “let your inner artist come out?” Yeah…for me, it was more like letting my inner 3-year-old out of her playpen. And handing her paint.
Abby: “Oh, there needs to be a flower here…and here…and here….and over here…oh look, that spot’s blank, let’s add a cloud…ooh, another cloud here….OOOOH! I know what’s missing! Giant alien flowers that are totally not-to-scale! Awesome!”
Artist’s note: Don’t be afraid to channel your inner Bob Ross and get brave. Ya know…happy little trees?
Step Six: Find somewhere to sign your name. Because if you don’t sign your name, no one will know you painted this awesome piece of art. And we wouldn’t want that, would we?
Then take it somewhere well-ventilated (let me suggest you avoid using your kitchen for this step) and add 1 or 2 coats of a clear glaze to finish the bottle. Let it set for up to 24 hours to ensure it dries completely. Don’t pick it up after 2 hours and expect NOT to leave fingerprints in the clouds.
Step Seven: Proudly wrap the bottle in bubble wrap and carefully deliver it to your Mommy.
Smile like an idiot while she coos over how cute the flowers are. Try not to wince when she promptly places it in her knick-knack cabinet, right next to the clay hand-prints you gave her in 2nd grade.
|Rejoice in the final product. And wish the last picture wasn’t so crooked.
Congratulations! You’ve successfully painted an olive oil bottle that you can be proud of! Well…mostly.