It was the perfect Friday evening. We’d already enjoyed a cookout, a game or two of Carolina Panther’s themed cornhole (don’t ask, just click the link), and some frosty beverages. The dinner dishes were washed, mosquito bites tended to, and the television tuned to a little preseason football.
There we were, my whole family. Happy and full, cheering on our favorite team, with the dogs curled at our feet.
|The newest phase of Abby Gab’s illustrations…photoshop meets bad drawing.|
That’s when the unthinkable happened.
My brother, Adam, saw it first. As he lunged for his giant, boat-sized flip flop, I locked eyes on the intruder as well.
Adam saw this:
I saw this:
|Just LOOK at those crazy eyes!!!|
At the moment that I saw the Evil Creature of Death, my mind went black and I did the only thing I thought made sense.
I jumped up from my perch on the floor, turned around, and belly flopped on my husband.
What Brian saw:
Adam, in an attempt to save the family from Total Destruction, whacked at the spider with his giant shoe.
By the time the smoke cleared, I was still wrapped around my husband like second skin, he was gasping for breath, and the Monstrous Eight-Legged Devil had escaped unscathed.
And my entire family was laughing at me.
I don’t blame them. I probably looked like a crazy person as I dove onto my husband.
Though I choose to believe it looked more like this:
What? I stand by my mental image. I’m graceful. (Like a trucker.)