Our New Favorite Game

I was raised in a family of game players. From classics like chess and checkers to the always popular family-type board games–we were primed and ready to play.

Except for Sorry. Because my brother ALWAYS cheated at Sorry. Always.

Mmhmm. Cheater cheater pumpkin eater.
(The weird-face-making ability also runs in our family.)

As it turned out, I married into a family of game-players, as well. And one of their favorites was the all-American card game, Uno. We could sit around the kitchen table for hours playing hand after hand of this game without growing weary of it. (Note: alcohol makes it even more fun.)

A few months ago, Brian comes home with a look on his face that was something like a combination between pure evil and sheer delight. “I got us a prize,” he said.

And he unveiled “Uno Attack!

Except we don’t call it “Uno Attack.” We call it “Spitty-Outty Sucky-Uppy, CUTTHROAT Uno.”

As in:

Abby: “I’m bored. What do you guys want to do?”
Brian: “Let’s play Spitty-Outty Sucky-Uppy Cutthroat Uno!”
Adam: “YEAH! Let’s play Spitty-Outty Sucky-Uppy Cutthroat Uno!”
Dad: *Groan.*

Spitty-outty because, if you don’t have a card to play, you have to hit the button. And the machine will spit out cards in a glorious shower of “who’s winning now, b***h?”

Sucky-uppy because, sometimes the machine will spit out a series of cards, and before you can grab them, it will suck one or two back up, much to the chagrin of your challengers.

Cutthroat because it turns even my family–a family that consists of mostly normal, loving, well-adapted folk–into bloodthirsty, smack-talking card sharks.

With a series of new rules, and a few new cards you’ve never seen before, this game will leave you more frustrated (and more addicted) than any Uno game of the past.

Bust out the “trade card,” and you can swap hands with anyone at the table (including the person who just called Uno.) Use the Discard All card to rid yourself of every card in your hand of the same color. (Great way to lessen your personal deck. Also a great way to let your opponents know what color you DON’T have in your hand anymore.)

There are also a few new ways to whammy your neighbor. Did they just say Uno? Oh no they didn’t. Smack them with the Wild Hit-Fire card, and they have to hit the button until they get some new cards to add to their hand. Or you can hit them with a Draw Times Two card, which forced them to hit the button twice in a row, collecting cards as they go. (Unless they also have a Draw Times Two card…in which case THEIR neighbor now has to hit the button FOUR times.)

If you love the classic game of Uno, you’ll love this new twist on the old classic. But I warn you…some of us don’t deal too well with losing.

Oh…wait a MINUTE. OhNoYouDidn’t….

What? I’m competitive.

One thought on “Our New Favorite Game

  1. Walt (Dad)

    True. Every word TRUE! In our family we do not cheat. We play to win!!! Spitty Outty, Sucky Uppy, um….”Take that SUCKA!!!” it’s fun.*

    Monopoly remains more or less banned cuz of the horrendous fights.

    *[ed note: It’s fun to announced “UNO” no matter how many cards you hold. Remember to hold your cards so it LOOKS like you have UNO. Just saying.]

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