Readers, after the last few days I’m sure you’re rolling your eyes at the thought of another AbbyGabs filled with smooshie love stories about Brian and me. You’ve heard all about how much he loves me, and I told you the story of how our relationship almost wasn’t. I’m basically dousing your daily blog read with 100% pure sugar.
Forgive me, reader, for the sugar-dousing continues today. My friend, Ryan, at The Woven Moments, is hosting another “Naked Truth” linky. The last one I participated in, you’ll remember, was a video blog. (Why? Because I’m an overachiever, that’s why.)
Today, Ryan posts an inquiry: “What do you know for sure about love?”
|Check out the linky here!|
There are a lot of things I know for sure about love. In true AbbyGabs fashion, I shall present them to you in list form.
Love Is Not A Battlefield
Sorry, Pat Benatar. You know I love ya. But I have to disagree.
Despite the fact that Brian and I had been living together for 3 years before we were married, we still received a TON of advice over how to “survive the first year of marriage.”
“It’s SO hard, and you’ll fight ALL the time,” one friend warned.
“You just have to take a deep breath and try to remind yourself WHY you married him in the first place,” another person wisely suggested.
“Money. You’ll fight about money. And sex. You’ll fight about sex….OH, and jealousy. There will definitely be some jealousy.”
Each time we received advice about how the first year of our marriage was doomed to be the worst year in the history of man, Bri and I would look at each other, befuddled. How can this be? Is a name on a piece of paper so life changing that the healthy, loving relationship we share can morph into a Jerry Springer episode overnight?
I’m here to tell you, after almost 7 years of marriage, we’ve yet to have that year. Not because a long term relationship doesn’t take dedication and attention. Not because we’re perfect. But because we made a decision very early in our relationship to put trust in our love, and let the rest of the chips fall where they may.
Love Isn’t (Always) Serious
Yes, Dr. Phil, relationships take work. And yes, Dr. Phil, love is a serious thing. But it doesn’t have to be serious ALL. THE. TIME.
Right after trust, LAUGHTER is the next key ingredient in our marriage.
And here’s the biggest secret of all: we laugh at each other. A lot.
Many couples we know tend to get bogged down in the “business” of their relationships that I think they forget to laugh. Yes, there are bills to pay. Yes, you may be angry with him for leaving his socks on the floor. Again. Yes, she complains about her job to the point of exhaustion.
Don’t get me wrong. We get caught up in that stuff, too.
But we try to find the humor in everything. Sarcasm is our favorite tool.
And if all else fails, there’s always the tickle monster.
My point is this: laughter allows us to find the joy in marriage. And without that joy, what’s the point?
Besides, he’s funny lookin’. (HA!)
Love Isn’t (Always) Glamorous
When I was a kid, I thought of love as a formula.
Handsome man X lots of money + red roses and a diamond ring = love.
That’s girl math.
And to be fair, I got the handsome man and the diamond ring.
Despite growing up in the 90s, I had a Donna Reid-esque view of marriage. Except I had power suits and a BMW, too. I never imagined real life would be so hard. That jobs could be so hard to come by, and when I finally found one with staying power, it wouldn’t be anywhere near the kind of job I’d always dreamed of for myself. That my husband would have to work like a dog to put food on our table and to put himself through nursing school.
I never imagined my husband would be diagnosed with cancer at the age of 30.
I got schooled. By life.
But I still believe in happily ever after. Even if I do have to pick up dirty tissues when my husband has a cold. Even if we have to roll the windows down in the car on the way home from our favorite Mexican restaurant. Even if I don’t get to live in the fairy tale castle with big windows, a 2 car garage, and the modern kitchen of my dreams.
|We may not look like Disney’s version, but in our hearts,
we’re Cinderella and Prince Charming.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
As I was writing this blog, my sleepy-head husband wandered into the room. He kissed me on the head, looked over my shoulder, and said, “What are you blogging about today?”
“Love,” I said. I looked at him and asked, “What do you know for sure about love?”
He looked at me, blinked twice, and said, “It’s Great.”
And you know what? He’s totally right.
Leave it to him to reduce my 800 word blog down to two. Freakin’ genius.