An Answer to that Age-Old Question

You’ve been asked this question a hundred times–in late night conversations with your significant other, at dinner parties after a few glasses of wine, on your way home from school by your childhood friend. Everyone has an answer to this question, and usually one of them is, “I’d wish for three more wishes!” The question:

If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

If I were to answer that question off the top of my head, with little to no thought, my wishes would be 1) a baby, 2) a car, 3) a house. Period, the end, that’s all folks.

But what’s the fun in that?

So I decided to put some serious thought into the question, and here’s what I came up with.

What? It’s my fantasy, and in my fantasy, Donnie Wahlberg is the genie.

Wish #1: Smoosh South Carolina and Nevada together in such a way that it’s less than a 15 minute drive to visit Brian’s family. (Please be mindful of the coast. I know we’ll lose a lot of it, but we’d still like to visit the beach. Thank you.)

South Nevolina?  South Carolada?
Yes I’m aware that it would affect more than just our lives. I’m aware that the people in Myrtle Beach with ocean-front property would not be happy with me, or Donnie the Magnificent Genie. But it would be nice to be closer to family. And it’s my fantasty. So there.
(On re-examination, it would appear that perhaps requesting a cheaper, faster form of transportation, like a teleportation device, might be wiser. But it would have to be user-friendly. And relatively unbreakable.)
Wish #2: Make the whole stork thing real. Like, a real company where you can order babies (after passing the background check and mandatory written exam, of course.) 
Imagine the heartache this would heal!! For deserving, wanting couples desperate to start their families—this could be the answer. Just submit your order form, wait a few days, and welcome that stork (or dog. Or mailman. Or friendly cartoon character.) with open arms. Voila! Instant family.
And did I mention it’s FREE? (Just pay shipping and handling. And the cost of treats. For the dog.)
Wish #3: I started to say world peace. (What can I say, the pageant girl in me runs deep.) Then I thought about it and decided, no…what I REALLY want is world happiness.
Look at all the happy!
Sure, world peace would be great! But would it solve all the world’s problems. Probably not. So I decided to take it a step further and ask my genie for world happiness. It covers a whole spectrum of problems: famine, disease, war, joblessness, pollution, property taxes….if you’re sad/worried/upset/anxious about something–never fear! POOF! World Happiness is here!
I think I’ve done enough good for the world today. How would YOU spend your three wishes?
PS: If anyone finds a gold lamp, like the one pictured above, and you suspect there MAY be a Donnie Wahlberg Genie inside, please send it to me. I promise to change one of my wishes into making you a Princess. (Or Prince. Or whatever else you choose.)

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