The Reason I’ve Been So Distracted Lately

It’s the last day of June. And reflecting upon this month’s posts, I realize that except for an exceptional few,  they seem disjointed, disconnected, and not-so-funny.

Don’t blame me too much. I’ve been relatively distracted. You see, it’s summertime and the beach has been beckoning me since it started getting hot outside. So I’ve been spending MOST of my free time by the seashore, soaking up the sunshine and swimming with the fishes.

Until my over-exposure caused a mega-huge, ultra-disgusting fever blister.

Brian has dubbed it my “Lip Monster.”

It’s been years since I last had one of these nasty little goobers–and I used to get them a lot when I spent hours and days in the sun. So, this fever blister has put me on the sidelines. No more beach trips until the little bugger is completely healed.

Also, no unnecessary trips out into the world until it’s completely healed.

Because making small children cry isn’t fun.

So, I’ve been lounging around the house lately, watching reruns of Dawson’s Creek, Game of Thrones, and America’s Got Talent. I wait patiently for Thursdays so I can have a So You Think You Can Dance marathon (Wednesday’s two-hour performance show, Thursday’s one-hour results show, all commercial free. Thank you, Baby Jesus, for DVR.)

But when the Netflix DVDs are en route, and my DVR queue is empty, I’ve been finding other ways to neglect my housework.

That same old addiction has come back yet again.

No, not Donnie Wahlberg. (That addiction never went away.)

The Sims 3.

The newest expansion pack, Generations, allows a whole new spectrum of game play for kid Sims, as well as teenagers. There are new playgrounds, new interactions, and new activities. Your child Sim can engage in after school activities, like ballet or drama or scouting. There’s the Prom, school pranks and hijinks, graduation, and the all-important teen party.

In short, it is awesome.

People who don’t play video games might not understand the appeal. And I’m not really that big into most video games, either (first person shooters make me nauseous, and zombie games scare me. That leaves The Sims and Mario.)

But when it comes to the Sims, there are so many things that are appealing to me. First and foremost: absolute, unrelenting control over your characters. Want them to lose weight quickly? Put them on the treadmill all day and try not to laugh as they fall off over and over again. Want to see what it feels like to be a Rock Star? Buy that guitar, learn the trait, and enjoy the groupies. Always wanted to grow up to be a Ghost Buster? Now you can…in Sim world.

I also love that I can create a character who is everything I want to be but am not.

She looks like me. She eats like me. She’s married to a Brian who looks like Brian. She tells a good joke and gets way too excited over things that normal people don’t get excited about.

But she’s also a published author. A mother. An immaculate house keeper. She’s a whiz in the kitchen.

And I actually have to WORK at keeping her fat. Seriously…18 meals a day or she naturally loses weight.

If I could figure out that diet plan, I’d have enough money for that private jet. And also, a yacht, a car, a house, a personal trainer, and my own publishing company that would publish anything I told it to, including my book.

But since I don’t think that will ever happen, I will keep playing the Sims 3 until my lip monster beats feet outta the neighborhood. Then I’ll go back to enjoying the sun. I’ll be more diligent about wearing a hat next time. And I’ll try to make July’s posts a little more exciting.

In the meantime, Brian will just have to enjoy being married to THIS Abby:

Our Christmas card photo for 2011.