Who Uses This Stuff, Anyway?

Have you ever taken a look around your house and thought to yourself, “Why in the world do I own that *insert name of item here*?”

Maybe it’s something you were given as a wedding gift that you’ve never used. Or a kitchen gadget you thought would impress the masses, but it’s never left the cabinet you shoved it into when your mother-in-law came to visit last year. Perhaps it’s something you thought all adults were supposed to own and use on a regular basis, but as it turns out, it just sits around collecting dust.

You guessed it. It’s another Abby List blog.

Top Five Things I Thought I Was Supposed To Own As An Adult But Never Use:

#5: A checkbook


Up until my husband got sick last year, the only bill we ever paid with a check was our car payment. Once a month. We opened our checking account when we moved here in 2003 and it took us SEVEN YEARS to use an entire box of checks. Seriously—doesn’t everyone use online bill pay nowadays??

True, I miss being able to order the adorable themed checks, because nothing is funnier than watching a man sign his name on a Hello Kitty background…but not funny enough to justify the cost. Or the extra trees.

#4: A fancy comforter with 10 matching, frilly throw pillows


Yes, it is beautiful. Yes, it is pleasing to the eye. Yes, it makes Nate Berkus and Martha Stewart happy enough to dance the mambo together. But it is SO IMPRACTICAL. We had a matching comforter set for about 3 months, until we realized it spent most of its time crumpled up on the floor at the foot of our bed. And while the cats loved the mountain of throw pillows heaped in the corner, they made it on the bed even less often than the comforter.

We’re probably in the minority here, but when it came to decorating our bedroom, we wanted COMFORT more than STYLE. (Plus, Brian has this weird complex about sleeping on flowers. Do you know how hard it is to find a comforter set with NO FLOWERS? Next to impossible. Seriously. Take a gander next time you’re in Bed Bath and Beyond.) And so, while stylish, frilly bed linens are perfect for some, we’ll stick to really nice sheets and a warm, snuggly quilt.

#3: The Clean/Dirty Magnet for your Dishwasher


They’re adorable and kitschy, and when I see them at friends’ houses I always think, “Now, SHE’S organized.”

However, I don’t have one. Why?

Because I would NEVER remember to use it. And then I would confuse myself while doing dishes. I already have to walk from one side of the kitchen to the other to get from my sink to my dishwasher (because whoever designed our apartment is a “GENIUS”…yes I’m using air quotes here.)  I don’t want to get there with an armload of dirty dishes, only to stand there staring at the Clean/Dirty sign and wondering if I’d flipped it last time.

“Did I? Didn’t I? Maybe Brian did? I don’t remember emptying the dishwasher today. Huh…those dishes might be clean. Or dirty. Oh WHAT THE HELL.”

Inevitably, it would wind up with me washing dishes more than once, wasting water, time, and those not-so-cheap dish-washing liquid cube thingys.

#2: Whatever This Thing Is:


Although, on second thought, I probably would use this, especially if we had kids. I could add it to my collection of other weird but awesome things, such as the Star Trek Enterprise pizza cutter (which we don’t own yet) and the teeny tiny juicer shaped like a bird (which we do.)

#1: A Fondu Pot


You know you have one. In fact, I got TWO as wedding gifts. (One was regifted. The other–I seriously just got up to go check my cabinets, and it’s pushed way to the back under my sink. The prongy-things still have plastic on them. Seriously.) I’m not sure what it is about “wedding” that screams “bubbly cheese.” I don’t dislike Fondu, I just never, ever make it. Come to think of it, I think I’ve only ever had it twice in my life (and neither was from my own Fondu pot.)

I remember when I got the first of my two Fondu pots, I thought, “Oh, yeah! Awesome! I will totally rock this!”

Turns out, not so much.

To be fair, I totally registered for one. Because what adult doesn’t own a Fondu pot?

You DON’T???

Well, you totally should.