Weddings: Duchess versus Southern Belle

With all the buzz about the royal wedding in the air, I couldn’t help but compare Kate’s wedding with my own. So, here’s a quick rundown in how the royal wedding differed from my own, humble, not-so-royal, but just-as-awesome wedding.

Kate and William were married here:

The gorgeous Westminster Abbey.

A beautiful, historical church, filled with candles and flowers and lots of women wearing big, flowery hats.

I, on the other hand, was married here:

The Isle of Palms, South Carolina.

We didn’t have candles because the wind would’ve blown them out. We bought our flowers at Costco. And the only hat at our wedding was worn by Brian’s Aunt Tina. It was fuschia. And awesome.

Number of Attendees:
When William and Kate left the church after saying their “I-Do’s,” they were met by thousands of happy English folk, all waving their flags and wishing them well.

“Bully for you, old chap!”

Brian and I had about 30 people at our wedding. And half of them were in the wedding party.

“Woo hoo! Abby’s gettin’ hitched!”

William and Kate’s wedding was a somber, serious, rule-following affair.

This crowd’s not even waiting for the moment of levity, cuz they know it ain’t gonna happen.

Ours was a par-tay, from beginning to end.

“WOOHOO!!! Abby got HITCHED!!!!”

The After Party
While there’s no documentation, I’m sure Kate’s reception was very formal. Lots of speeches, lots of toasts, lots of pomp and circumstance. I doubt very seriously there was a DJ spinning The Commodore’s “Brick House” while the bridesmaids busted a groove. And I’d imagine the food was very, very British. Like, tea and crumpets or something.

“Would you be so kind as to pass the raspberry jam? Jolly good and thanks.”

We had beach music playing on every level of the house we rented for the occasion. People were dancing on the deck, in the kitchen, and outside. There was some bootie shakin’, and some shagging (the American kind, not the British kind,) and we had a ball. Also, we served a flat-out, no holds barred, good old’ American cookout for our wedding fare.

What’s a wedding without a hotdog?

It’s true, our wedding wasn’t the splashiest wedding of the century. We didn’t worry over how much my dress cost, or who it was designed by (but in case your curious, we got it on sale for $100 at David’s Bridal. Yes, that’s why my husband loves me so.) I didn’t freak out over the fact that it was hot (September at the beach, people) and that my makeup had all but melted off by the time the ceremony was over. We didn’t even flinch when the humidity and heat started causing our beautiful wedding cake to tilt (despite the fact that there were bridesmaids and groomsmen running around like Paul Revere shouting “The cake is falling! The cake is falling!”)

Truth be told, when I walked over that dune with my parents and saw Brian standing under our $20 arch from Walmart, covered in fake floral from Michael’s, with our guests sitting in unadorned metal foldout chairs, my mind cleared, my heart soared, and I knew without a doubt that this was the most perfect moment of any wedding in the history of weddings.

Nothing, not even a cathedral length veil and an $82,000 dress, can top that.

♥September 25, 2004♥

However, if I could change one thing, I would’ve TOTALLY rocked one of those awesome, flowery hats.

Oh yeah, baby. Move over, Kate Middleton. Abby’s in town.


3 thoughts on “Weddings: Duchess versus Southern Belle

  1. Walt

    Point of order. Rosie wore a hat. While you were concentrating on other things, the wind blew it off her head and past all but the last bride’s maid. It was then handed maid to maid back down the line and placed on Rosie’s head whereby the last bride’s maid kept it there with her hand on top of Rosie’s head.
    It’s one of my cherished memories.

  2. Stephanie

    It sounds like a lovely, perfect wedding!

    I got married in my parents’ backyard. I was wearing a sundress with pink flowers. There were only six people in attendance, including me and my husband. My mom and dad bought us a little wedding cake. Best day ever!

    And I wore a hat to school yesterday. I made it before work, as did the other 4 teachers in my grade team. Mine was made out of a quarter of a paper plate, some pink tissue paper, blue feathers and a long white ribbon. I looked phenomenal. Honest.

  3. Abby

    @Walt: I FORGOT about Rosie’s hat!!! I have heard the story of the escaping flower girl’s hat many times…don’t know how it skipped my thought process when I wrote this.

    @Stephanie: It WAS a lovely, perfect wedding!!! Certainly not flashy, but very intimate and overflowing with love. I love that you got married in your parent’s back yard…somehow all that matters in that moment is that you’re surrounded by your loved ones! And I’d LOVE to see a picture of your hat!!!

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