I spend a lot of my free time pondering life in general. (One: because my job is just that boring and I have plenty of free time to do so and Two: it helps me come up with stuff to write about.) I find myself wondering about a lot of random things, like what the marshmallows in Lucky Charms are REALLY made of, and what it would be like to see the world from outer space.
I think part of that comes from being a naturally curious person. Most of it comes from being a writer, though, and always trying to think of a new topic to write about.
A friend of mine from college, Dave, sent me a question on FB this morning about just such a topic. So I decided to turn it into one of my favorite “list” blogs.
Random Things I Often Wonder About:
#1 Why can’t the criminals on Cops have thought bubbles?
Go ahead and deny it, but I won’t believe you. EVERYBODY watches Cops. And each time the guy gets pulled out of his vehicle, sporting the “I Didn’t Do It, Officer” t-shirt with that bewildered (or is it stoned?) look in his eye, I always wonder what he’s thinking when he sees that camera.
“Oh, crap, Mama’s gonna kill me.”
“Oh, crap, that guy I owe a lotta money is gonna kill me.”
“Oh, crap, my wife is gonna kill me.”
“Did I brush my teeth today?”
“HOORAY! I’m FINALLY gonna be on Cops!”
Wouldn’t the show be THAT MUCH BETTER if they somehow electronically added thought bubbles???
#2 When did speaking like an intelligent person go out of style?
I miss words like “nonetheless,” and “ergo,” and “furthermore.” I crave the opportunity to use words like “indubitably,” “consequently,” and “inasmuch as.” And don’t get me started on how exhilarating it is to use the word “hence.”
The sad thing is, when I use these words around most people, I get a look that much resembles this:
Don’t we miss speaking as though we have brains? Don’t you find it refreshing when you can have an entire conversation with an individual without them using the word “like” a hundred times? I miss words.
#3 A train track is 300 miles long. On one end of the track, Train A leaves the station at 4PM. On the opposite end of the track, Train B leaves leaves at 6PM. If Train A travels 45 mph and Train B travels 60 mph, when will they meet?
#4 Are those tweets really from Steve Martin/Ashton Kutcher/Donnie Wahlberg? (For all you Donnie fans, you’re welcome for the link.)
You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call: I’d call a genie and ask for three more phone calls. And a boat.
Facebook and Myspace both shut down: Myspace? What the hell is Myspace?
Someone shaved off your eyebrows: The word “Bitch-Slap” comes to mind.