It’s 2011 Already….Where Are the Flying Cars?

Remember when you were eight, and you’d watch The Jetsons and wonder what it would be like to drive a flying car to work everyday?


Seriously, you didn’t watch The Jetsons?

Well, I did. And I’m slightly perturbed that it’s 2011 and we don’t have any of the nifty inventions we were promised.

So here’s my list of gadgets, contraptions, and brainstorms that would dramatically make my life better. Someone find a scientist and let’s get busy.

#1. A Free Car Store

I saw an ad in the paper the other day: “Labradoodle Puppies—Free to a Good Home.” Now…imagine if you could apply that same concept to purchasing a vehicle.

It would be like Christmas everyday!

Wow. What a concept. People would still have to pay for insurance and up keep, but imagine the world we would live in if people didn’t have to drive around jalopies until the wheels fell off just because they couldn’t afford a better, newer (greener, more fuel efficient) car. Wow. It’s not world peace, but it’s a start.

Plus, I could finally afford a car for myself. That would be the gold star on top of an A-plus paper.

#2. Mandatory Vacation

You’ve been working like a dog all year. You can’t take anymore vacation time because you already took a week for Johnny’s wedding, and another week when you came down with the mysterious monkey flu. But man-oh-man, could you ever use a vacation. Somewhere warm. And tropical. Where there are no cubicles/fluorescent lighting/nonstop ringers/annoying co-workers. What ever will you do??

Never fear, Mandatory Vacations are here! Now, built into your schedule, is a mandatory 2-week, all-expenses-paid vacation to wherever you want to go! Jamaica, Alaska, New Mexico! Take a cruise, take a hike, take a lover! It’s the best invention since sliced bread!

#3. The Star Trek Transporter, Realized

Dear Geordi LaForge,

Please, oh please, oh please, won’t you put down your book and come visit us in 2011? We would REALLY love to have a Transporter now. I REALIZE that it’s not going to be invented until Dr. Erikson gets around to it sometime in the early 22nd century…but we’ve been awfully good, and we’d like to take our Mandatory Vacation in Las Vegas without having to fly coach in a cramped, smelly airplane. And since you were my favorite character in Star Trek: The Next Generation, I’d really like to meet you anyway. So, you coming to the past to install a transporter in my living room would really kill two birds with one stone. Also, it would be super-neat.

Thanks so much in advance,

Best TNG character, ever.

#4. Television you can stream (a-la Netflix) with NO RESTRICTIONS!

I have to admit, Netflix really has a lot going for it. In fact, I’m in LOVE with Netflix. I really think it’s terrific. The only thing I can suggest is that they take the whole “stream shows and movies right to your TV” thing to a different level by allowing me to stream WHATEVER I WANT (no restrictions, please.)

I streamed the hell out of some Battlestar Galactica. I watched the entire series in less than a month. Now THAT’S how to watch television. Don’t harass me with commercials and waiting a whole week for the next episode.

That’s for sissies.

If I want to veg out and watch 20 hours of Gilmore Girls, then I should be able to do that. Don’t make me wait for the DVDs in the mail!! (WHINE.)

And (you really didn’t think I’d leave this one out did you?) #5. The Jetson’s Flying Car

See ya on Planet Zorgg, 2062! ZOOOOOM!