Verizon Wireless–The Cell Phone Company of Champions

My husband and I have been very happy and satisfied customers of Verizon Wireless for about 7 years now. Every time we get to upgrade to a new phone, we get a little giddy. It’s got something to do with gadget envy…I’m not sure everyone suffers from that ailment, but we have it in spades in our house.

About 2 years ago, I became the proud owner of a Blackberry Curve. It was my very first smartphone, and I was THRILLED with it. Beyond thrilled. There may have been dancing. This phone was my faithful friend for 18 months. We went everywhere together, and I spent hours updating my Facebook page, looking for recipes, checking my email, and sending text messages. It was a match made in heaven.

This is your phone.

And then….

This is your phone on drugs.

My phone was taken over by tiny gremlins.

Ok, so, I can’t PROVE that there were tiny gremlins in the phone, but it started ACTING LIKE there were tiny gremlins in the phone. First, the track ball started acting possessed. I would tell it to click on Item A, and after clicking, it would shift to Item B and choose it instead. THEN, it started freezing. First once a day, then twice…until eventually, I was having to take the battery out three or four times a day just to get it to work.

I put up with this for about 4 months before saying anything to my husband. Why? Because I loved my Blackberry. And I love Verizon. And I’m not one to rock the boat. Usually.

Then the gremlins started messing with my head. One morning, I got the cheerful alert that let me know I’d received an email. I unlocked my phone, opened the messages icon, and, lo and behold, the date for the day was February 6, 2057.


I was Back to the Future for a few days before finally breaking down and telling my husband that I was desperate for a fix.

(PS: Click on that link. Seriously. It’s hilarious.)

So I said to my husband, “Let’s take it to Verizon and see if the Powers that Be can fix it!”

When I mentioned that my Blackberry was breaking my heart, and I was worried I was going to have to put her down, lots of friends came forward with advice and warnings.

“They’ll never let you upgrade early, unless you threaten to switch companies!” Kellie said.

“Make sure you get a guy. Then you can flirt, and they’ll TOTALLY let you upgrade early!” announced Ariel.

“Best of luck…they’re sticklers about the whole “upgrade” process. You may have to complain to customer service!” Tammy offered.

So, off we went to the Verizon store. Best case scenario, they’d give me a new phone and I’d be on my merry way. Worst case scenario, I’d have to wait until April 5 to do my upgrade, like usual.

So we signed in. I explained my problem. B and I perused all the shiny new phones, and I dreamed of the day when I would have one of my very own.

And then…”Ms. Abby?”

I turned, and there was Luke. My hero. My savior. My Cell Phone Guru.

I went through the problems with him. He laughed at all the appropriate moments, we bantered like old friends, and somehow, in that small 10 minute window, a kizmit connection was made.

Luke disappeared for a few minutes, and came back to tell me the best of all good news.

No, he’s not going to buy me a house. He’s not Oprah.


“Ms. Abby, they’re going to go ahead and let you upgrade to a new phone early!”

The skies opened up, the sun streamed down, and angels sang on high.

My New Droid 2 Global. No gremlins, only fat adorable angels.

And so, though I’m sad to lay my Blackberry to rest, I’m thrilled to the bone with my new phone. The customer service we received was spot on, and I dare say, we even enjoyed ourselves while at the store. Luke will forever go down in history as “Best Verizon Guy EVER,” and all my faith in Verizon has been restored.

Thanks to you, Verizon, there’s a new love in my life. (No, not the fat angels. The Droid 2 Global.)

It was Love at First Sight.

**Please note that Verizon did not pay me to write this blog. This is a true story, based on my personal experience, embellished adorably with photo-shopped pictures and commentary. Perhaps you’ve had a different experience, and for that I’m sorry. My response to that complaint: You need Luke. He’s the bomb diggity.**

3 thoughts on “Verizon Wireless–The Cell Phone Company of Champions

  1. Maddog

    Welcome to the Droid. You now have to get a rockin’ pink cover for it. Sorry about your Blackberry. Did they let you hold her until the battery died?

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